


The Wanderer.

by SecondWeabooPhaseGO (OhLovelyRose)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Badass reader/OC, Competent OC, Gen, Humans living outside the walls, I swear to god my writing is better than my tagging, I'm bad at putting tags without spoilers, In treehouse, Main OC is Erwin's daughter, Multi, OC is not a damsel in distress, OC2 is main's mother, Other, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Survival Horror, Warnings Given per Chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:20:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28769982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhLovelyRose/pseuds/SecondWeabooPhaseGO
Summary: What happens when a Scout gets forgotten, presumed dead, further into the Titan forest than has ever been gone before?And what happens when that Scout survives, thrives, even? Despite bearing a child that wasn't meant to be, especially not then.This is the story of a teen born outside the walls, among the trees, knowing nothing but a life a hundred meters above the ground.And finding her way to these mythical walls her mother always told her; to confront the people who left her mother to die.*Read notes at the beginning for more info.*
Comments: 23
Kudos: 56





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 1/20/21  
> Originally tagged to be a Jean/Oc fic, but I have decided to let that be decided based upon where I think the story flows naturally. Possible partners including Jean, Levi, Hanji, and Mikasa :) this is my first writing in about 5 years so please don't judge me too harshly for my scatterbrained-ness ahahah.
> 
> Hi! Wow! I'm 21 and writing a damn fanfiction in the middle of a pandemic! Well honey, ain't that some shit.
> 
> This is honestly gonna be a pretty self gratifying fic that's just gonna end up w/ my cool ass OC saving characters I didn't think deserved to die without ruining plotpoints tooooooo horribly. 
> 
> Warning: this is almost entirely based upon the anime, I have not read the manga :c I do try and do as in-depth of research as possible though, so that may also give some lag on my uploads. BUT! I WILL Be trying to update this at least weekly, with chapters at least around 1.5k words each.
> 
> All 104TH training corp will be between 14-16, with Armin/Eren/Mikasa/Jean all definitively 15 upon joining the training corps; Morrigan will enter the walls after the 104th Training Corp has been in session for one year.
> 
> Levi will be in his early twenties, Hange is in their mid twenties, and Erwin is in his late thirties.
> 
> Tytyty.

**_PROLOGUE:_ **

**_EXCERPTS FROM FLORA ALLAWAY'S JOURNALS CIRC. 831_**

_**WRITTEN ONE YEAR AFTER STRANDING.** _

_The world had come back to me tinted in red. Upside down and quiet._

_I liked the quiet._

_You never hear it behind the walls. It’s too crowded. Too cramped and locked in._

_I never liked tight spaces._

_I guess that’s why I joined the Scouts. I was tired of being trapped like a rat in a cage._

_I had found myself strung up in a tree, deep in the Titan’s Forest, deeper than we ever had gone before due to being chased down by multiple abnormals, for many days by horseback; my ODM gear the only thing keeping me up._ _I was alone. My horse's carcass was at the foot of the tall, tall tree I had somehow found myself in. It appears to have been squashed._

_As I hang there, trying to remember where I was or how I had gotten there, I realize it is not silent. Not quite._

_I can hear…. Birds?_

_Their gentle warbling is soft and beautiful, and I see a deer peering through the trees, maybe fifty meters away. This is unheard of within the walls, human desperation devastating any natural wildlife inside them._ _It’s prettier than the photos Erwin’s shown me, in the books we were never supposed to have._

_Erwin…_

_The thought of you was what finally pulled me out of my reverie._

_There were signs of a fight, struggle, everywhere, but far below me, I was.....unusually high. I found no corpses but plenty of blood, plenty of scrapes of my own including a nasty gash across my eye. I'm not that pretty anymore, unfortunately._

_‘I must have been thrown or tossed by a blast…’ I had thought to myself._ _  
__  
__So I gathered what I could from my horse and started searching through the trees._

_I ran out of gas within hours. Food from my pack in days,_

_Hope in weeks._

_My gear off of my horse and the lines out of my ODM gear allowed me to string my tent up high into the trees. And it was there, I planned out what I didn’t know would be the rest of my life._

_And the beginning of someone else’s._

_The treehouse was the product of six months of nonstop work put in by myself upon realizing that I had no way home. I was too far into the tall trees of the Titan Forest in the deep, deep southeast, with no mode of transportation. I was stranded in a sea of people-eating giants, and it became clear soon enough that no help was coming. They think me dead. I know that now._

_A couple of the six remaining blades from my ODM gear were broken and turned into axes; my scout training along with my knack for hunting and gathering that I had picked up growing up in the small population of people in Dauper combining into pure survival tactics._

_The sounds of my chopping down branches always inevitably brought a couple of titans but as time went on I became more and more accustomed to climbing trees, to the point where it became second nature. As easy as walking by the river._

_Despite the name, the titans I came across were few and far between in the forest, never tall enough to reach me in the hundred-meter treetops; their arrival always preceded by an eerie, breath-stealing silence, as the birds and other fauna go into their own hidey holes._

_Once at a certain height, though, I found they eventually lose my scent, and therefore their interest in me. It was rare that I ever had to jump from the trees to dispatch one, but if I did it was almost surely an abnormal. One that would just stand there for days, watching me. Almost seeming to...think. As though it were analyzing how it would be able to get to me._ _  
__  
__I didn’t like those ones, so they were dispatched with quickly. No one likes being watched. Especially by bulging-eyed freaks._ _  
__  
__It was four months into my new hell of a life when my stomach began to bulge, and I had to sit down, in my half-finished tree hut and fully realize where I was and what was truly going to happen._

_Could I do this? Bring a child up in this world away from the world? Was that possible? Or should I…_

_The glint of green-tinged sunlight shining off the blade of my knife had drawn my eyes towards it, and as I got closer, I could see myself. Perhaps for the first time in many months._

_My coiled red locks were thick and tangled, and my eyes, near the same shade of the leafy treetops above, are bloodshot and raw._

_“I could end it all now. ‘ I had thought. I was tired. I was ready. I was so ready…_

_But when I grabbed that blade again, when I looked into it, looking for myself, I saw you. I swear to you upon the Gods above Erwin, I saw you. I saw your stupid eyebrows and your steely gaze. _

_I saw your smile._

_I felt your touch._ _And for a moment it all fell away and you were there with me, a hand on my stomach, feeling the baby kick for the first time._  
 _  
And I realize that I had to survive. I had to survive as long as it took for you to meet your daughter._

_If you’re reading this, Erwin, you have. At least I hope that’s who is handing you this note right now. Pretty girl, hair as red as mine and eyes as sharp as yours?_

_She’s beautiful, isn’t she?_

_She’s smart. She’s sharp, quick, and everything you could ever imagine. And more. I hope you get the chance to witness it._

_I love you, Erwin._

_My knight in shining armor I never thought I needed._

_Until the Gods bring us together again,  
_

_Flora Allaway_

* * *

**_Year 847_ **

**_Sixteen Years After Stranding._ **

Long, freckled fingers trace over the words written into the pages of the well-worn journal, salty, bitter drops dripping from the teen's face as she reads the journal for the last time where she was now sitting.

Morrigan was sitting on her knees in the middle of their home far above the ground, held up and of thick, woven branches, sixteen years of adapting and evolving turning the structure from something a little more than an unsteady shack- into a sturdy home, with walls made of wood planking, holes sealed in with mud, roof watertight with clay found from digging a bit deeper underground.  
  
They even had a small fireplace, and a chimney that chipmunks got stuck in quite often unfortunately for the critters, but fortunate for the women, who had enough to make gloves, and slippers, and even hats out of.

The walls were lined with animal skins - over a decade of hunting and recording the local fauna.

Whitetailed deer.

Wild Boars.

Hares,

Even a fox or two.

Arrows made with owl feathers.

Grappling hooks made with ODM wire and antlers, there wasn’t a part of Morrigan’s wardrobe that wasn’t the skin of some animal that had sacrificed its own life for her and her mother to keep their own.

They learned to respect the forest that housed them because you can tell if you’re safe; based on the sounds of the forest. They’ll tell you if you should be quiet.

It had been a week since her mother had last come home. The longest amount of time by far. She was always back within two, three days tops. She had a caution to herself that Morrigan always teased her for, for her daughter was always almost a little too daring with her own life, always wanting to go further, whereas her mother preferred them to be safe at home.

And they were, for fifteen years.

It was soon after Morrigan’s fifteenth birthday, when they noticed a distinct shift in the Titans’ migratory patterns.  
  


A titan or two would wander by inevitably around three to four times a week, usually coming from all directions, usually right after they would return to the trees after hunting or foraging, their scent being far enough to attract the monstrous beings. But, at one point in the early summer, something changed. Drastically.  
  
From the south. They all came, it wasn’t one massive rush, but enough of a stream to keep the forest quiet of all natural life for many days, weeks. By the time the birds started singing again, Flora and Morrigan’s cheeks and ribs were sunken in and they were lucky to be alive enough to hunt.  
  
Flora knew that something had happened. Something had happened to the Walls. She felt it in her soul. But she couldn’t go. She couldn’t take her daughter, no matter how capable she thought she was. She was just a child.

It was a year after the event her mother called “The Great Migration.” And they hadn’t seen a Titan in almost a month.

Which is just what made her mother’s disappearance so strange.

‘ _Was now really the time where you weren’t careful enough, mother?’_ Morrigan thought to herself bitterly, snapping shut the journal and tucking it to the bottom of her leather pack.  
  
The cloak she wrapped around herself was rabbit fur, waist-length and various shades of brown to near black, the hood entirely covering her face and wild mane of fiery ginger hair.

Her pack was filled with exclusively essentials, her waterskien strapped to her waist and her knives on various bodyparts, she stares at the two, untouched blades her mother had left. From all that time ago. Morrigan wondered why she’d never really used them, but had simply taught Morrigan how to at the ripe age of 12.

  
But she thinks she understands now, as she puts them in the sheathes she had watched her mother painstakingly take weeks making, sheathes that not only strap to one’s back and provide easy access, but don’t impede ones’ movement while swinging/running through the trees.  
  
As she’s about to step outside what she’s known as home for the past decade in a half for what she knows is the last time, she hears the silence.  
  
It’s deafening. She pauses, hand on the loop of twisted bark that served as their door handle, holding her breath as she pulled it open, not expecting anything immediately, but the eventuality of encountering a titan was enough to set one on edge.  
  
But when she opened the door, it was not green-filtered sunlight that met her.  
  
It was the disgusting, hot, wet breath of a Titan.

She felt her heart skip, once, twice, three times, processing what was before her in both slow motion, and the speed of light.  
  
It was between ten and twelve meters, it’s hair a ridiculous bang ordeal, with wide, accusatory brown eyes and a sneer upon its lips. It was disgusting. The thing had climbed the wide-based tree across from their home, using that one to avoid shaking theirs. It was… stealthy. That was the only thing Morrigan could process before a massive hand was reaching for her.  
  
She threw herself through the door, knowing that if she didn’t, she’d be stuck and die for sure; her body inevitably being ripped apart and devoured by this vile creature

The grappling hook was swung, and it luckily hooked onto a tree branch, swinging her quickly behind the Abnormal and allowing her to perch just above it, unsheathing the blades and grimacing, eyes staring down its naked form with pity-laced disgust.  
  
For all she knew, this is the monster whose fault it was for her mother not coming home.  
It was that thought that launched her off of the branch, before the creature could even turn around and try at her again, she had done what her mother had taught her, and what those people behind those walls were supposedly “so good at.”

  
‘ _One meter across ten centimeters wide…’_ She thought to herself, as she slashed across the back of the Titans’ neck. She knew she had done it correctly when the thing slumped forwards, falling and hitting every branch on its’ way down. It had begun steaming almost immediately, and she crinkled her nose in disgust.  
  
“Good riddance.” She said softly, before shaking herself off and resecuring all of her things.  
  
This was going to be quite the journey.  
  
She wasn’t sure if she was going to find her mother or the fabled _“Walls”_ first.  
  
But she knew she refused to die until she found both.


	2. Chapter One:Loophole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little background on who Morrigan is, and a glimmer of hope in a desperate situation.

**_Six weeks after departing the treehouse_ **

* * *

  
  


The Forest stretched for kilometers, and after weeks of moving north, she still hadn’t broken the treeline, but had encountered at least a dozen Titans; half of which she had thankfully been able to avoid by way of the treetops. 

It was late, late at night, for that was when she had found that the Titans were at their most docile. She could even walk on the ground if she liked, but she didn’t, not often. It felt safer in the trees, up high where she could anticipate anything ahead of her, and avoid it.

One of the unfortunate side effects of becoming nocturnal, is the fact that the forest doesn’t speak to her much anymore. She’s awake when the spirit of the woods is asleep, with no one but the owls and occasional fox to keep her company. 

_‘Huh. Who would have thought. It’s lonely being the only person in the world.’_ Morrigan thought with a chuckle as she took one of her rare breaks on the ground, her tall stature slouched, good posture never quite her forte, though she could almost feel her mother pinching her back skin in warning.

It was nearing dawn, and she knew the Titans would be active soon, but she was also almost in desperate need of food. So in the weak, pre-dawn light, she strung together the bow she had put together the week prior and began her hunt.

After The Great Migration, with the mass moving of the Titans away from the densely forested area, the animal population had boomed, with there not seeming to be any one large predator save for humans, so she was hoping to catch maybe a rabbit or two today.

The forest was active, lively even today, and she was able to hunt until the early afternoon, securing three rabbits and a pine marten, though her celebrations were cut short by the sight of pointed antlers peeking through the branches of a young tree.

Morrigan’s mouth began to water. She hadn’t had venison in months, and her bow was strung without even a thought.

She followed the buck through the trees for a kilometer or so, before pulling her bowstring taut, her breath deep as she steadied her aim, a heartbeat passing as time seemed so slow to a snail’s pace. The sun broke through the tree foliage, and shone off of the animals’ deep brown gaze, and it seemed to stare right through her. She let her breath out as she released the string, the arrow flying through the air and landing between the animal's ribs. It let out a piercing, screaming wail as it panicked, getting so turned around in its terror it started sprinting in her direction. She hadn’t pierced deep enough. She needed to end its misery.

It finally collapsed about ten meters from her, and she approached it, her face neutral but thoughts sad. It was thrashing, but as soon as it processed her approach it began to struggle to the point of injuring itself further, impaling itself on a jagged broken branch that protruded from a fallen tree, its movements halted by the action though it continued to wail.  
  


It was a moment that didn’t quite feel real, a moment that Morrigan was glad that no one else would be a witness to, as she strode up behind the suffering beast with her knife in hand; hands that were steady as the left gripped an antler, and the right went around, a swift backward motion of her shoulder pulling her arm back and slitting the beasts’ throat.  
  
The animal’s terrified heart rate paired with the slicing of the jugular vein resulted in a cascading spray of blood, soaking her as she hunched over.  
its' trembling stopping soon thereafter, with a last shuddering wheeze, she felt the life leave its body, head resting in her lap.  
  


The wood was silent, the animals’ death cries sending any other animal to its burrow to hide until the carnage was over. It was so silent, she could hear her own heartbeat. Feel the water rushing of a stream nearby. The silence was welcome, for once, and it caused her to sit there in the quiet of the wood, enjoying the rare calm of her mind. 

For some reason, in her blood-soaked state, she thought upon one of the best days of her life, in her opinion.  
  
_It was three months since the Great Migration… The birds had been singing for over a week and her mother was in a wonderful mood, bouncing around the two-room treehouse on the balls of her feet and humming under her breath, while Morrigan lay on the ground reading one of three books they had, ones that her mother had taken with her on that scouting mission long ago._ _  
_ _  
_ _While distracted, her mother had brought out a present, wrapped in wide leaves and tied with grass._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Morrigan, come here.” She had said, smile wide and releasing a giddy squirm._ _  
_ _  
_ _The teen looked over with a raised brow, smirk upon her lips. “My birthday was a while back, you know…” She jokes, and her mother flicks her on the nose._

_“Shut up and open the present, brat.” She demands, and she needn’t ask twice._

_The wrapping was torn apart, and the girl’s eyes went wide as she gingerly handled the wooden object she held._

_“It’s a lyre,” her mother explained, and the girl nodded slowly, her nails gently dragging across the strings, and she looked up to her mother in shock at the delicate sounds it made._

_Her mother’s grin was wide as she sat next to her daughter, hands covering hands as she showed her how to handle the body and pluck the strings._

_“I spent many months working on this while you slept, the strings are deergut and should last a long time should you be careful with it.” She explained, and Morrigan nodded solemnly, holding the instrument with reverence. It was the only real gift she had ever been given…._

_Her mother taught her to play a few simple songs well into the night, the birds and insects joining them in a soft symphony…._

  
  


And Morrigan sat there, reminiscing on that day, of the day she was given the only real thing she had left of her mother, which sat at the bottom of her bag, wrapped in hide.

She sat there for what ended up being too long, sitting completely still as she felt the steam rising from the blood staining her skin and clothes..

The animals that went into their burrows and hidey holes upon hearing the death cries of the buck did not return, and by the time Morrigan was properly back from the slight trance she had fallen into, it was too late to prevent the events already in motion.

There, down the trees, maybe thirty, thirty-five meters was a titan, approaching fast but barely close enough to feel the vibrations of its’ lumbering gallop.

It was fifteen meters by her guess, and ugly, it’s knees knobby and gait lurching. Absolutely haunting, and for the first time, Morrigan felt herself struck by pure, unadulterated fear. It caused her heart to skip, and sixteen years of her life flashing across her eyes.  
  


_Learning how to climb the trees. Faster than even squirrels she watched and played with as a child; mastering how to jump from branch to branch, further, further, until she had surpassed her mother by far._

_Her mother making her drawing tools out of charcoal and cut wood, and teaching her how to draw the plants, flowers, and animals around them. She even drew the Titans on occasion, though her mother disapproved. Their walls were covered ceiling to floor with her childhood doodles behind the hides that covered them._ _  
_ _The gentle sound of the lyre, and her mothers’ singing as the sun set, those last few weeks before she went missing._

  
  


Morrigan truly couldn’t believe that this was where she would die, blood-soaked and hungry, but she accepted it. She was reckless, not taking the deer out upon its first cries. She knew that she deserved to die here.

Until she didn’t.

The Titan had stopped, blinking around the tiny clearing, its eyes focusing on her for maybe half a second, before skipping over her entirely. It seemed almost...confused, as though it were expecting a human and was only given a bloody deer carcass. It seems the Titans are aware that the only thing that would hunt prey as big as a buck would be human.

It was silent for what felt like hours, but was truly only minutes, before the titan simply… turned around. It ran off at the same speed it came in, and her heart slid back, down into her chest from her throat.

_‘Headed due north.’_ Morrigan assumed.

But she thought she knew what had caused the Titan’s ignoring of her, though.

She stared down at her blood-soaked hands, and despite her absolute disgusting state, she laughed.

She’d beat the system.

The blood dampened whatever it was that drew the titan to eating her.

They couldn’t smell her human blood beneath the smell of the death.


	3. Ch2:The Docks

**Four months after leaving the treehouse.**

* * *

* * *

On a map, getting from point A to point B is as simple as drawing a straight line. Quick. Easy.

In a densely wooded forest, with no map and a kinda shit sense of navigation…? Not so simple.

Morrigan’s route was zig-zagged and dependent on Titan activity and branch density seeing as she hadn’t any tools she could risk losing to chopping any branches that might block her way.

She couldn’t fucking believe she was still trapped in this _fucking forest._ The trees were neverending as she leapt from branch to branch, day after day, days blurring from weeks, weeks into months, until she finally was allowed some variety to her surroundings.

The trees had started to thin, and when it got to that true darkness; the true silence most people could never imagine. That hour before dawn, where nothing aside from her and her thoughts were awake as she walked the forest floor, she could hear the crashing. It sounded like trees falling, but… over, and over, and over again. The sound confused her to the point that her course altered without a conscious decision being made.

But as she changed course, she found herself deeper and deeper into titan territory, and she felt immensely guilty at how much carnage she herself was having to make to avoid them, because eventually the trees stopped, and to be truthful? Morrigan never thought they would. Never thought she’d get this far.

Honestly?    
Of course, she knew she was going the wrong way. She knew which way the sun rose and set, but she also knew that whatever she was drawing closer to, was something that she knew no one within those walls would ever be able to say that they have seen….

Because a group of humans most definitely would have died out here.

The blood wasn’t foolproof. It was nullified almost instantly by rain, and the Titans most definitely notice her if she’s just sprinting headfirst through an empty field, a teen soaked in blood.

But what they didn’t question, was a teen wearing the head and pelt of a deer and soaked in said animals’ blood sprinting headlong through a field.

Thankfully it was night then, and the crashing she had heard was closer, so close she could feel it beneath her now-bare feet, her leather boots having fallen apart months ago. She had been stuck in this godforsaken field for days, no shelter in sight but at least a handful of titans every kilometer, and she hadn’t slept since the last grouping of trees she’d seen.

It was in her tired half-trance, she stumbled, sliding to a stop on her hands and face before jumping up and shaking herself off, checking behind herself as though there would be a grouping of titans there pointing and laughing at her embarrassing mishap... But there were none, and being satisfied with that she turned back around, and what was before her caused her heart to leap to her throat.

It was something her mother had told her bedtime stories about, something Flora had read about in books that her lover, Erwin, had shared with her; something that she had read and memorized enough to pass on to her daughter.

Massive, blue, sparkling like nothing she’d ever seen even in the moonlight, she’d been running with her head down, the deer-head hood hiding her face for so long, that she didn’t notice the beautiful mass of water approaching in the distance, the sound impossible to miss now that she was focused.

The sea.

It was close now, the field she ran through ending in a cliff maybe fifty meters ahead of her.

‘ _ Oh, shit…. I definitely would have run...right over that if I hadn't tripped….’ _ She thought, rubbing the back of her neck worriedly. Maybe her mother was right, she was reckless… She needed to be more careful if she was going to survive through to Wall Rose.

_ ‘Oh well.’ _

“Well.. Haven’t died yet.” She said with a shrug, beginning along the edge of the cliff and pulling out the last of her rabbit jerky, gnawing on it as she walked in the direction of which the sun would set.

It was along this cliff she spent the next three weeks walking along, entranced by the water, and not seeing a single damn titan. It was also along this cliff, she found an unusual structure past where the field turned to sand and the cliff turned to sharp rocky ledges….

Now, Morrigan didn’t know much about man made structures, but she was willing to bet this was one, and a wall at that.

But...definitely not the one she was looking for.

It curved upon the only stretch of real beach she’d seen for miles, with large wooden docks sticking into the water behind it, while in front stretched dozens of kilometers of sandy desert. She was immediately on edge, ears straining against the crash of the waves to hear any sound that could be human or Titan- though she had no idea what she’d do if she found the former.

The rocks were easy enough to navigate for someone like her- someone used to constantly climbing and jumping across tree limbs and trunks, and they led directly to the top of the wall, which she stepped onto cautiously.

You could see for kilometers, both to the sea and through the land, and from her best guess, if she headed straight ahead, she would hit the walls...eventually. She’d not seen even a trace of her mother, and though her heart ached, she knew that the woman either returned to an empty home, or met a fate she didn’t deserve. Morrigan could only hope that Flora was safe, and searching for her as well.

She thought on this as she walked down the wall, scanning it before seeing something that didn’t quite fit in and as she walked closer and finally realizes it's something in a small black case, she’s right on top of it and able to pick it up; which she does gingerly. It was close to the very other side of the wall, near a set of stairs that led down to the docks on the beach, as though it had been dropped or discarded... forgotten.

She snapped the box open, which caused her to jump, and fumble the item, before securing it with wide eyes.

Inside was something...well, she wasn’t quite sure what it was, really.

A vial of silvery purple liquid, a thick, hollow needle, and something with a push-pump that attached to the needle, all nestled within a silky interior she greatly enjoyed the feeling of.

Now, was this probably something that had nothing to do with Morrigan, and should she just set it down and forget all about it?

Probably most definitely

Did she put it in her bag anyway, beneath all of her hides, lyre, and jerky?

Absolutely most definitely.

After searching along the wall and beach for any other signs of life, she took her journey north once more, a rabbit fur hood pulled over her face to block against the sand blown up by the wind.

And she traveled this way for eight more months. Through greenbelts and fields, from and through titans, always heading north.

Always heading for those walls she wasn’t even sure were real.


	4. Chapter Three: The Castle Ruins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:
> 
> IMPLIED ATTEMPT(UNSUCCESSFUL) AT SEXUAL ASSAULT

**_Eight Months After Departing the Treehouse._**

* * *

******_  
  
_ **

It was a long time before Morrigan saw another sign of human life, though she did not despair. She was used to being alone with her thoughts, and she spent a lot of time in her own head.   
She thought of the kinds of people she would meet. Of what her father was like, if he was still alive. According to her mother, life spans weren’t long in the Scout Regiment.

_Erwin Smith_ ….  
  
Every time her mother spoke on him, Morrigan saw it in her eyes. That tender, gentle thing that softened as she thought of the man that left her for dead, the man she still seemed to love desperately all these years on. .  
While Morrigan refused to allow herself to feel anything other than cautious resentment and apathy, telling herself and her mother that she didn’t care whether they all lived or died as long as she and her mother were safe, while her mother just called her a moody teenager.

She also felt... _anger_. Anger that her mother, a kind, strong, skilled woman was the one that they managed to leave behind. And with child no less, though no one could have known at the time. They still didn’t know.   
  
That is what killed Morrigan the most on the inside. That she was about to show up to this group of people, and convince them that she wasn’t just some freak that escaped the woods; which was most definitely a lie. She knew that it was going to be a severe learning curve, growing up in the forest vs. a bustling city. She had no idea how others acted, and she couldn’t lie to herself even to think it would all be okay.  
She knew they would fear her, as her mother told her they would; because anything outside the walls was unknown and therefore… terrifying. A threat.  
Morrigan had never considered herself a _threat_ to anything before this bullshit wild goose chase, but now she realized quite who she was, or...who she could become.  
  
Her mother had shown her hand-drawn art of the ODM gear they used when she was a scout, pieces of which were scattered around the treehouse in different various shapes and forms, and Morrigan may not know how to use it in practice, the theory remained with her; though she didn’t really think it would help her in any way. She was lithe, swift with her climbing, able to get from ground height to the fifty-meter mark on a tree within a few seconds fast, to the point where her mother questioned whether or not all soldiers should be raised in the trees.  
  
And the teen found that Titans truly weren’t a threat, when you weren’t raised to fear them. Her mother was taught to fear them, which is why they never attempted to find the walls together. Her mother was too afraid of them, of losing Morrigan to them.  
  
They were just huge, bumbling, disgusting creatures that ate people for no reason. Simple as that.

They were the cats, we were the mice. The reason most people died to the things was that they allowed themselves to succumb to fear, and they relied on everything but themselves to get them through hardship.  
  
They truly were mice that hid behind walls that at this point, walls Morrigan was pretty sure her mother had lied about.  
  
Walls that she once again thinks she sees, only to draw near and be disappointed, though no less interested in what it was she saw.  
  
Tall, a tower made of grey stone and a beaten down, a weathered and falling apart wall surrounding it; the entire ambiance was depressing to say the least, but it was also one of the most _human_ looking things she had seen in months. But though it was _human_ she wasn’t going to assume it was _safe._ So when she approached the ruins, it was upon light feet and low to the ground, using the time she would spend as a child playing hide-and-go-seek with titans to her advantage whenever she could. And for this she could be grateful; for when she peered through a low opening in the tower, she nearly gave away her position in shock.

Three men sat around a fire, not talking but eating and drinking out of jars, their faces scruffy and bodies large. They were all of considerable size, either in height or weight, and she could see the dirt around their necks and hands in the firelight. A fourth spot sat open and unoccupied, and she only had a moment to wonder where that person was, and why these people weren’t inside the walls when she felt a grip upon the back of her neck, hot, rancid breath against her throat as a sizable body pressed her against the cold stone of the tower.   
  
“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a live one here boys!” The man hooted through the window, and Morrigan was dragged by her neck around the tower and through the entrance; the foul-smelling man throwing her to the ground in front of the fire and catching the attention of his just as disgusting compatriots.  
  
  
“Well _sheeeeiiiit_ Joe, where’d you find this one? Pretty gal like that shouldn’t be this far outside the walls! _Especially with no one around to keep her safe.”_ The one on the furthest left said, words dripping honey though they felt bitter to her ears.  
  
Well, she was right that it wasn’t safe, and she needed to get out. _Now_ _  
  
_

“Well Neil, I found her peepin at ya through the window like some kinda _pervert_.”

Her eyes scanned, the room full of massive crates and covered items that meant nothing to her. A single door leads only god knew where, and the exit behind her was blocked by “Joe.”

“ _Joe”_ who’s hands had gone from her neck to her shoulders, digging in painfully as he groped them, hands slowly moving down as though she wouldn’t notice. She did. She noticed as his fingers pressed into the sides of her still-developing breasts. Her mother hadn’t lied to her about the harsh realities of the world, it was just unfortunate that her first example of living humanity was also its worst.  
  
“Is this what everyone within the walls are like?” She asked softly, and the men looked at each other, chuckling to themselves as if she’d told a hilarious joke.  
  
“Honey, don’t act like you’re not from there too... but again, we need to know…. _What. Are you doing. Out here?”_ Joe asked, standing and coming closer to her, his breath close to making her gag as she stared at his rotting teeth. Her silence seemed to upset him, and he reached for her shoulders as though to grab them and shake her. She knew she had one chance to get herself out of this predicament and she took her shot then; grabbing his right arm and turning, twisting out of her captors' hands and swinging the other. Joe was slammed with his full body weight into the other man and they were both knocked to the ground, dazed. The move worked purely on a physics-based level; seeing as they outweighed the malnourished girl by far.  
  
Morrigan used the confusion to her advantage and sprinted through the door, up long winding stairs that lead to the tippity top of the castle tower though she could hear the struggles of the four men giving chase behind her, long legs taking leaping bounds, going up to four stairs at a time as she let pure adrenaline fuel her actions.  
  
It went up, and up, and up, nearly making her dizzy with how long she ran in circles to reach the top, her mind racing a mile a minute as she tried to figure out just quite what she was going to do when she reached the top; and when she eventually hit the door, cold early morning air slapping her face. And as she ended up on the far side of the crumbling towers’ roof, facing off against four men at least as tall as her 178cm; she knew that it was going to have to be whatever she had to.  
  
They started to fully process what she looked like in the dawns’ light, their eyes searching now not in disgusting lust towards her teen body, but in curiosity and confusion. Their questions came as they spread out and began to advance on her, slowly, step by step.  
  
“Why’re ya dressed like that, dollface? Ain’t no one who can afford furs makin’ them into outfits like that…” The one she had thrown said with a chuckle that was none too friendly, and Morrigan thought of the blade on her hip, the length as long as her hand and the handle of worn leather. Her mother had entrusted it to her on their first outing together to hunt, and she always kept the blade sharp enough to end an animals’ suffering quickly.  
  


She tried to think of any other way to end this that didn’t involve using it, though.  
  
‘ _Maybe humanity deserves to die.’_ She thought bitterly, stacking her odds against the men.   
  
If she got their blood on her, titans would be on her from leagues away, and the last river or stream or even pond she had seen was at least ten or so miles behind her, a long enough distance that she wasn’t sure she’d make, soaked in human blood. And if they spilled hers, the same would happen.  
  
She could always try and jump, but looking behind her, even she could realize that’s not something she could make work either. She was far too high up, if she didn’t die she would break many things, and there were too many windows and ledges for her to risk running down the side.  
  
She was fully trapped and began to panic, eyes skittering every which way before coming to a decision, allowing her body to do the last thing it could; which was to scream. Scream as loudly, and painfully as she could, loud enough that the men were covering their ears, shouting at her. When she stopped, they all looked at her, realizing very quickly what she had just done.  
  
“Every titan within miles is going to be heading to this tower right now. You can either focus on me or focus on saving your own asses. _Pick. One._ ” Her voice was low, growling, and she was half-crouched, her steely eyes scanning them, upper lip raised in a snarl.  
  
Two of them scrambled downstairs, while Joe and Neil -the one she had flung- stayed. Their bruised egos seem to prevent them from thinking very rationally. They both outweighed the malnourished girl by many pounds, but she was willing to bet that they certainly weren’t smarter than her.  
  
“Are you fuckin’ stupid girl? Are you tryna get all of us killed?” Joe yelled, but he stopped at the smirk he saw slide upon her lips. Her face went from a cornered rabbit to that of a feral cat, her teeth exposed and the sharp canines of something that was used to tearing meat directly from the bone glinted at them. It was then that they realized that they may not be encountering someone from within the walls.  
  
“No, not all of us. Just you.” She retorted, voice soft yet matter-of-fact, which enraged the men even further. They ran at her, and she deftly ducked underneath their arms, checking over the wall lining the tower roof, seeing that the first of the Titans had arrived.  
  
Joe lunged at her, and using every ounce of her strength, she crouched and felt the air _whoosh_ as his arms missed her shoulders, and she hopped forwards onto her hands, legs bunching before she donkey-kicked him over the wall, his friend watching as he was launched; plummeting six stories below to the waiting maws of the titans.  
  
This angered him enough for the man to attempt the same feat, but instead of ducking as the man had assumed, she jumped over his arms and slammed his forehead into her knee, before using her right arm to push him past her left side with a hand around the back of his neck, her mothers' self-defense lessons coming in handy as the man tumbled headfirst over the wall, his screaming cut short as he either snapped his neck on the drop or it was done by the giants below.

  
Morrigan risked a glance downwards and finally saw the reason the rest of humanity hid. She saw a titan, eyes bulging and grin huge. It was only about four meters tall, but that really didn’t matter as Neil struggled against it; his thrashing useless as the thing lifted the man to his mouth, his full torso entering before it bit down. She could hear the disturbing, disgusting sounds from here, and she covered her mouth; turning around and muffling her sounds of shock.  
  
She did not mourn these men she knew meant her harm. She mourned the inkling of innocence she once held, whose trickle had begun to slow upon being confronted with such a gruesome, morbid sight.  
  
She sat there, mouth covered as she waited for the carnage to finish. She heard three distinct voices screaming, titans stomping around and the occasional mild tremor of the tower, but nothing came through the door leading to the roof of the tower; and after an hour of silence, she stood up, peering over the edge once again. The area was now clear of titans, the ground below bloodstained but empty. Keeping this in mind, Morrigan made her slow, silent descent to the ground floor.  
  
The stairwell was entirely clear, and it was soon that she found out why; for a 3-meter titan sat crouched in the doorway gnawing on the spine of one of the unnamed men. It didn’t even turn to her; her scent still successfully masked and allowed her to sneak up on the monster. The execution was thankfully quick, and after pushing the thing out the doorway before the stench of the steam could fill the tower, she shut the door firmly but quietly, leaning against it with a shudder and sliding to the ground.   
  
She felt….. Numb. As though her body didn’t want to process... _anything_ that had just happened.  
So she didn’t. She moved as though in a trance, restarting the fire that had been disturbed during the scuffle, and beginning to go through their crates - if just to keep her mind and hands busy.  
  
She read the labels on items-but most things were a guessing game as to what they were. Jars of jams, jellies, pickled eggs and pigs’ feet, sacks of wheat and flour; it seemed to be enough provisions to last a while- and seemed to have already been picked and gone through for quite some time.   
  
_‘Were these men… living here?’_ She questioned, eyeballing the crates warily. Why would there be people living outside the walls aside from her and her mother?  
  
The people of The Walls were going to have a lot to answer for when she found them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Castle ruins in this chapter are as mentioned in Attack On Titan: No Regrets, a spin off manga about Levis' younger life.


	5. Chapter Four: The Discovery of Shiganshina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes graphic descriptions of corpses and violence, as will the next few chapters; including suicide and self mutilation (not done by or to the main character.). You have been warned.

**_Ten Months After Departing The Treehouse_ **

* * *

  
Morrigan spent a month in the castle, taking any safety she could and using the time to rest and regain her energy. Traveling on foot in a wasteland ruled by giants wasn’t very good on a growing teenagers’ body.    
  
She found clothes though she did not wear them; opting instead to tear them up into strips of fabric and creating torches and tourniquets, stashing the materials away in her pack. The teen managed to gain weight for the first time in a long time, her ribs no longer poking through her skin, and a thicker layer of muscle laying beneath and covering her arms and legs, her stomach even becoming a bit soft, and squishy; something that unexpectedly delighted her. She’d never been  _ soft _ anywhere before, and it excited her. Her hips had also begun to widen, bones no longer protruding, her body took this short month and whatever nutrients it could and used the energy to fill the young woman out a small bit, no longer gifting her the lanky, gangly body of a prepubescent teen who’d only grown up and not out, and hinting now towards who she would be with time. 

  
  
It was the day after the entire ordeal with the bandits that she found their horses, kept in a crumbling stable deeper within the walls of the castle. Two of them, to be exact. Animals that Morrigan had never encountered before, though it was an easy guess seeing as not many animals were kept for humans to ride…. well, actually only one as far as she knew.

  
She kept them fed with what was in the stables, but as her time to leave came upon them, she knew that she didn't have enough deer blood left to make it very far, so at night as the animals slept, she led the russet brown gelding from his stall, taking him far away from the barn and ending his life swiftly, sending the animal off with a prayer to the Gods, hoping for his swift entrance into the fields of the afterlife.    
  
She collected his blood and as much as his meat as she could; wandering the woods that began a short way from the castle; finding a strong, slightly flexible branch and stringing it with horsehair   
  
With the other horse…. Well, it was safe to say that learning how to ride a horse- bareback no less; was quite the challenge at first. But once she had gotten the hang of it- it was smooth sailing.   
  
The horse she had kept alive was a mare, grey with white splatterings all over it, its mane and tail black save for a streak through the former, about the width of her hand. She’d kept this one alive for it did not shy away from her blood-stained hands, and instead leaned closer to her, knickering for a treat.    
  
It was upon this horse that the woman set off, after having to teach herself how to put on the saddlebags and blanket, forgoing the actual saddle to fully feel the motions of the horse underneath her and to better give directions.    
And for a month they alternated between walking, running, and meandering; her horse streaked with blood as well to hide their whereabouts from the titans’ greedy noses.    
  
  
But before leaving, she left a message in the blood on the walls, scrawled in her bad handwriting, but she knew her mother would be able to read it, were she able to make it this far.   
  
“ _Almost there. Go home. -M.A_."   
  


A month Morrigan spent no longer doubting the existence of the walls - oh no, the men had verbally confirmed that for her; but she was now doubting whether or not the walls were  _ worth finding. _ At this point, she kind of just wanted to find her mother and return back to their home in the trees.   
  
These stupid walls weren’t worth the effort, with their cowards and their mouse-people.   
  


Walls that-

_ wait… _ _   
_   
Morrigan squinted at the horizon ahead of her, before her eyes widened, her heartbeat picking up as she dug her heels in, the horses’ meander turning into a headlong sprint through the tall grasses that surrounded them in the wide-open space that was all she had seen for days.   
  
It was. It really was!  _ The walls! _ _   
_ The moment seemed like a dream, as she began the long stretch, previous misgivings thrown out the metaphorical window as she thought of the answers to an entire almost seventeen years of questions she was going to get; but as she got closer, she saw that all was not as it seemed; even from miles away, she could see the massive, gaping hole that sat where she assumed the gate once did.   
  
As she processed this, her hands pulled back on the reins, arms trembling as the horse reared, slamming her to the ground with a pained gasp, the air refusing to enter her lungs as dread tore its way up through her stomach, a feeling she’d kept chained until now. The horse pranced around her but did not dash off.   
  
_ “I think I know where all the titans went…” _ She murmured softly from the ground, staring up at the bright blue sky in wonder, her quiet alto reverent and solemn, pure uncertainty filling her body, her skin tingling like it was about to burst. She only allowed herself this brief respite though, before she kept on, dragging herself to her feet and knowing that though that entrance was sure to house….  _ So many titans _ …. It was also her only shot in. Her only shot into finding out if all three walls had been breached.    
  
It took her a day to reach the walls, which stretched on either side further than she could see. She never brought the horse above a trot, metaphorically dragging her feet as she dreaded what she would find.   
  
She avoided the titans, knowing this was her last shot at getting to civilization.   
  
She poured a fourth of a jar of horse blood she had kept in a saddlebag over the horses’ mane and rump, before tying the animal to a tree a bit away from the entrance to the walls, loose enough for the thing to get away if she weren’t to return. Half of the jar was poured out onto her hands and hood, rubbing the deep burgundy liquid through her hair and under her armpits, ears, and behind her knees, before running her hands down her face, leaving two crimson prints there.. She had only one large omni-blade left, and that wasn’t enough to dispatch titans, only slow them down. So this really was do-or-die.   
  
‘ _ The southernmost city of wall Maria is Shiganshina _ .’ Her mothers’ voice seemed to carry on the wind. And the woman looked up and down the massive rip in the massive structure.   
  
The wall was falling apart, and she couldn’t even imagine what could have happened to cause such a mess, though it gave her an advantage, leaving her enough foot and handholds to let her travel to the top of the wall without alerting or being bothered by a single titan.

But what she saw atop that wall bothered her more than any single titan ever could   
  
The city was demolished. She could see about five or six titans- between four and eight meters tall wandering among what structures still stood, and she started walking along the wall, further inward, towards the innermost section of wall Maria.   
  
The titans paid her no mind and for that she was thankful, but they also seemed to be heading in the same direction as her. And deep, in her gut she knew that wall Maria was also compromised. Five or six small titans did  _ not _ a Great Migration equal.   
  
And she was unfortunately right.   
  
The titans were moving at a faster rate than she, and she watched about half disappear into the gaping maw that marred the surface of Wall Maria.   
  
They weren’t her people, not really, and yet she felt a harsh, tearing pulse of grief pound through her body, one that brought her to her knees and drew out a sob from her chest.   
_ Could she really keep on like this? Keep going on just to get disappointed time and time again? _ _   
_ _ How many breached walls were she going to find? _

  
It looked as though this wasn’t a recent happening, but the upchucked balls of remains the titans produced still smelled of death, disgusting, mucousy membranes falling apart, whole families falling out, half-digested by stomach acid, skin spotty in places it had sloughed off, bare muscle showing through and bone protruding at impossible angles   
  
It was a harrowing thought, her first experience with other people not only for the first time in a year, but her entire life, being this. Bloated corpses devoid everything- neither souls nor light to be found. But it was while staring down at this disturbing sight she saw something glinting, the sun moving behind her head; shining on the handle of a metal blade, one that was almost familiar to her.   
  
‘ _ There… underneath that fallen wall….’  _ It was a soldier, killed by the felled structure with their lower body barely showing, one half of their ODM gear exposed.   
  
They still had three blades left., ‘ _ Lucky idiot probably died quick.’  _ Morrigan thought sadly, before beginning her descent down the wall, not seeing any structures even close to being tall enough, and opting to test her chances with a flat out run down the structure. She was right at the hole into Wall Maria, and she needed those blades if she was going to survive to Trost.   
  
She started down the wall with a confident pace, she’d done the stunt dozens of time in trees just as tall as these walls, but what she didn’t have to account for in the forests was human debris; for as she hit the ground, her foot slipped against the broken shards of a large clay pot, slicing her heel to the point of drawing blood, and she skids to a stop on her ass with ah hiss, grabbing at the injured foot and sucking in a sharp breath.   
  
Her feet were calloused, the cut barely drawing enough blood to stain the ground, but enough to smart and cause her a large irritance. An open wound of her own was also quite enough to nullify the effects of the animal blood that soaked her hair and cloak. At least until it was covered.   
  
She scrambled up, running to the rotting corpse that sat trapped, and started fumbling with the unfamiliar mechanisms, the only things she recognized being the actual blades themselves; and it was during this struggle, in her panic, she failed to notice the six-meter titan rounding the corner behind her, and she continued to fail until it was already practically right on top of her.   
  
But upon turning around, she did not falter due to fear, nor did she bother even looking before jumping from her position, flipping backward and just out of its massive arms’ reach; before she ran at the beast, wincing at the sharp sting of her foot, but for the most part able to ignore the feeling as she launched herself atop the first-floor roof of a structure, avoiding another narrow snatch at her waist with a twist.   
  


She had managed to secure one blade- the handle having just barely been attached before she was forced to jump away.

At this point, she wasn’t scared. She was  _ pissed _ . Pissed that she had been  _ stupid  _ enough to get hurt, this far into her journey,she was  _ in the walls _ and she had the  _ audacity  _ to put everything at risk? The fact that she was up there wallowing in her self pity was almost laughable now, as she began to slice at the titan- severing the tendons that controlled the muscle movement from the shoulders to the biceps, the Titans’ arms hanging limply as it still headed towards her, it’s gait lumbering and slow as it healed.

How dare this… this _THING_ try and prevent her from confronting the people that made her **_live this way!?_**

Morrigans’ movements were furious as she attacked the titan. And instead of a neat slice taken out of its neck, it was pulverized, torn apart and diced; mashed beyond recognition, her mind racing, spewing every profanity she knew, screeching and snarling like a wildcat cornered in its den.

And the next titan, a six-meter, that rounded the corner met the same fate. 

And the next.

And the next.   
Four in total, until she was out of breath but still on edge; her ears straining for any sound that could be perceived as a threat.

But she heard nothing but her own heart beating in her head and throat; though she didn’t move for a good quarter of an hour; before she returned back to the body and retrieved the last two blades, about to turn around before noticing the patch upon the arm of the jacket the corpse wore.

Two wings, silver and blue crossed against each other in an embrace. A patch her mother had- a patch that meant something.

It was then that Morrigans’ ice-cold disdain for the people that failed her mother began to slowly melt, a slow, quiet drip that was too small to truly acknowledge. Too slow to  _ really _ count.

But she could acknowledge that these people had their own homes to protect. And if this was one city… Only the Gods knew what was left. And her mother was one person, no matter how skilled or how much of an asset she was. She could almost understand how they could leave her.   
  
_ Almost. _   
  
The teen leaned over and tore off the patch, along with the name patch below it, which read S. KIRSTEIN, tucking them into her already stuffed pack and looking down at them. Though she couldn’t see their face, just their left leg and shoulder she felt something tugging at her heart.   
  
‘ _ This is someone’s family.’ _

Morrigan put the extra blades in the sheathes, and took advantage of the quiet, tearing apart the Scouts’ jacket with a reverent apology, using the fabric to dress her foot, before wrapping the dressing with a strip of fox-fur, and then dousing the tops of her feet with the blood she kept in a separate waterskin. 

‘ _ Hopefully, that’s good enough…’ _

And with that , the teen walked back and retrieved her horse, walking through the remains of Shiganshina solemnly, and through the other gaping maw of Wall Maria with a determined set to her jaw and a blade in each hand; hoping to the Gods she didn’t screw this up royally.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reviews :)


	6. Chapter Five: Wall Maria And The Skeletons In Her Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Five: Wall Maria And The Skeletons In Her Closet
> 
> This is where this story begins to take a dark turn. Content warning for suicide and graphic descriptions of death. 
> 
> Reader Discretion is advised.

  
  


**_Two Months into Wall Maria_ **

  
  
This time, Morrigan’s journey was not quite as straight and narrow. She wanted to learn about who these people were, and what better way than going through their stuff?   
She zigzagged across the trail greatly, sometimes by ten or so miles, running across villages and small towns.   
  
All of which were desecrated. Titans still meander through them as though they owned the properties in which they destroyed.   
  
She hid in cellars most days- blocking them off and marking them with blood to block her own scent so she could sleep in semi-peace, at least for a little while. The titans ignored the horse wholly if she wasn’t near her thankfully.   
There was a stretch of seven days at one point where she could not leave her hiding spot, the rain coming down so viciously, the clouds so dense that only the most abnormal of titans were active, making traveling a downright stupid thing to do, even she could see that; though she felt antsy within the confines of the building. The home had a stable though-and the horse was fine throughout.   
  
It was strange, the way the dust made itself right at home among what used to be peoples’ livelihoods. Even stranger still was how unfamiliar she was with most of what she saw. She knew the names and descriptions of many, many things, and her mother did her best to draw diagrams and teach her, wanting her to be prepared for when they did inevitably go searching for the walls… _’though we were supposed to be together…’_ but honestly… Morrigan wasn’t taught what _curtains_ were _. Door knobs_ were a struggle upon the first encounter, she wasn’t even going to lie about that one.   
  
She picked up and set down plates, vases, pencils, and books! Oh the _books_ ! This house had so many she almost seriously considered extending her stay, but thought better of it. All of these things were sitting there, abandoned and perhaps forgotten. Probably missed.   
  
Morrigans’ fingers run through the layer of grime over everything with little care for things being gross. She was caked in blood quite literally 24/7 and has spent almost 17 years shitting in the woods, things having only layers of dust on them was actually… the cleanest she’d seen anything, really.   
  
She touched these things, whispering what they were to herself, in bewilderment at actually finally having actual physical objects to the words her mother had taught her; and for the first time since she had started this godforsaken journey;, she allowed herself to feel…. Excitement. Giddy, even with the anticipation, both from sheer curiosity, and a desperate voice in her head that nagged every so often; whispering that if the next set of walls were untouched, she would finally have someone to talk to again aside from a horse and the corpses she came across.   
  
  
One thing she hadn’t come to expect, were how many people she found who hadn’t fallen to the titans; but to their own hands. Dozens of homes she had walked into, the first of which even, she had entered and upon doing so had been slapped in the face with the stench of death. It stank so badly she had to run out and vomit until there was nothing but stomach acid left, and then having to bury the evidence of doing such not just to hide her shame- but her scent as well.   
  
A family, three children and a mother it seemed. They all sat upon the couch with the tops of their heads blown off, and laying behind them was a man in the same state; a shotgun beside him. At first this had troubled her greatly, scaring her and keeping her on the move for days; but as she found more and more cases; she started to piece together just what had happened.   
  
This wall was the largest of the three; with the largest surface area and therefore likely the highest populations of people. Not everyone would be able to retreat behind the safety of Wall Rose; and they knew that. They knew that so they took matters into their own hands; ending it then and there.   
.

This world was far sadder than her mother had warned her.  
  
And far bigger, it seemed.   
  
She was in no rush, so she did what she could for these people left behind by their own. Just like her mother. She covered them with blankets where she could; and buried any child she found, something in her heart aching with every small grave she dug. She dug, and dug, counting twenty six graves and a hundred people dead not by titans… but themselves.   
  
And as she got deeper into the walls, she began to see signs of struggle that weren’t new...but more recent.   
  
Carts turned over, blood still evident on the dark dirt path, and she felt a harrowing chill come over her as she began to walk through what even she could identify as a massacre.

  
There were rotting body parts strewn for miles, the smell blocked by a foxtail she wore as a scarf, though it still made her gag. Titans wandered about a few miles off, paying her no mind as her horse picked its way through the morbid maze.   
  
“This has to be… _hundreds of thousands of people_ .” She whispered, blinking slowly as she came to that realization. The gore lasted for miles in either direction, a point coming to where it was all she could see in any direction. Her horses’ hooves were forced to step on stray hands and jaws, detached from their bodies, partial remains as far as the eye could see like someones’ morbid idea of an obstacle course.   
  
The last town she had passed was miles back; and she couldn’t see one near from atop the hill she and her horse stood upon; and as she paid closer attention; she noticed that any of the carts that were still standing- and most that weren’t, were pointed towards her. The horses carcasses heading away from Wall Rose rather than towards it.   
  
‘ _Did…. did they send these people out here to die? To take back the wall? What kind of idiots would do that?’_ She thought upon continuing her way across the battlefield, eyes scanning for anything to clue her in on what truly happened. But she knew she was right.   
  
Most people wore what she assumed were civilian clothes, only occasionally did she see a winged patch or tan jacket; though the further she got the more respect she gained for the people who did choose to venture outside the safety of their burrows. She collected every name and military patch she saw, and any identifying artifacts of clothing off of civilians she could- stuffing them into her saddle bags. These were people who chose to fight rather than lie down and die. She just hoped that she wasn’t stepping over the last vestiges of humanity, and that these people had families for her to return these things to.   
  
The carnage lasted for a day or so, but it slowly began to spread out as the titans did as well, though she was soon forced to travel exclusively by night as their populations picked back up; though it made her nervous she understood what it meant; for the beasts quite obviously were drawn to human populations like moths to a flame.   
  
And it was when Morrigan finally breached the top of a tall hill; the horses’ sides heaving as she slowed it to a trot; she was confronted with what she had spent the last year hunting for; her height on the hill allowing her to peek over the walls and see orange, flickering lights behind them   
  
_Trost._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit of a short chapter, but I can promise you that the next ones are going to be quite long (Chapter 6 is ~3.6k words)


	7. Chapter Six: What Makes An Entrance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one (4.9K words)
> 
> I obsessed over this chapter and I'm just hoping someone else likes it at this point ahaha.

**_TWELVE MONTHS AFTER DEPARTING THE TREEHOUSE_ ** **_  
  
_ **

The hill Morrigan sat upon was a perfect vantage point, for she could see along the wall for miles- and she felt her heart fill with an emotion she couldn’t name upon seeing its unmarred surface- gate standing tall; with no titans in sight for the sun had set about two hours ago.   
  
Her keen eyesight- honed after years of living in a dark forest allowed her to scan the top of the wall- unable to make out distinct features but able to determine a guestimate of the number of people atop it thanks to the torches that lined its perimeter. There were about thirty, all either chatting or walking along the edges, and that was the final confirmation she needed.   
  
She’d arrive with the dawn, when she assumes their shifts would change; but for now, she would settle down against the warm side of her mount and rest, staring at those flickering lights below in slight awe. 

She fully admitted that she was glad…  _ giddy _ even that she had found civilization; though nervous at what it could possibly have in store. She couldn’t hide that she was still shaken up by her encounter with the bandits; a small voice in the back of her head claiming that people like them would be the only thing she would find behind the walls.

But as she lay there, the horse’s neck pressed to her chest as it kept her warm; and she thought about what she was feeling, she realized that she couldn’t allow them to see her weak. They couldn’t see her wallow in front of them, weeping in joy, or fear. It wasn’t  _ her  _ that was going to be in fear for what  _ they _ had in store for her; but  _ they _ would be surprised by what  _ she  _ had in store for  _ them. _

She wasn’t some _ weakling  _ who needed _ saving. _

She mulled over different plans as the night hours went on, the moon having just completed it’s cycle and nowhere to be seen- the new moons’ presence- or lack thereof - was almost like fate; if she believed in that kind of thing. Her mother told her, on long nights like these she and her daughter would spend staring up at the stars; that the new moon signified new beginnings and first impressions.

She couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony now.

She couldn’t scale the walls and try and blend in and fInd her father herself-  _ no _ she may not have ever really, you know,  _ seen  _ herself in the literal sense; she knew she had grey eyes and pale orange hair that got darker in the winter and sun-bleached in the summer months, but that was really about it. But from what the bandits had commented on, and the fact that she was covered in layers of dirt, grime, and gore, she knew that was completely out of the question. Especially considering she had no clue of the layout of the walls- only a general base knowledge and whatever her mother had written in her journal; something Morrigan only took out on the quietest of nights where she knew she wasn’t at risk of losing it.

She knew she was facing Trost- with a river to her right running under the wall - though it was barricaded underneath by a heavy steel grate she’d never be able to get through.

She couldn’t just march right up to the front gate and  _ knock _ \- they’d likely have her arrested and charged with _ lunacy _ , they’d never listen to her and she’d never find her father. At best she’d be left out there, worst… locked in a cell somewhere no one could hear her scream. And there was little that scared Morrigan more than being trapped. She never once took the freedom she had for granted, and she knew she would miss it once in the walls. But she knew she’d be back. After all, she still had to find her mom. Wherever the fuck  _ she _ was.   
  


So as the dark got to its deepest point, she stood up, stretching and listening to her spine pop as she prepared for the final stretch of her journey, her horse standing as well and shaking her head whimsically.

It was then that Morrigan realized that this lovely animal had stayed with her day and night for months now, loyally and without knowledgeable direction; and she hadn’t even given the mare a name.

She rubbed her hands up and down the animal’s neck, cooing softly and hopping upon her back, beginning their ride towards the twinkling lights of Trost.

The lights below weren’t quite close enough to block out the stars above- which shone brightly without the moon, and our heroines’ eyes are turned up as she speaks softly, patting the walking horses’ neck lovingly.

  
  


“Calypso.” She says, and the horse knickers quietly, nodding her head in agreement. It meant to hide, conceal, something the blood streaked mare had helped her do faithfully.

“Glad you like it.”

They reached the walls, to the left of the gate and pressed to it as closely as possible just as the sky began to lighten, and Morrigan noted that there were grooves in the pillars that stuck out from the walls, where the concrete naturally wore away. She’d use this to ascend the wall, standing atop the horse and giving her a loving pat between the ears. Silently promising to return for her.

She left everything on the horse, save for her pack which contained her mother’s notebook and, the strange vial she had found on the beach - a time that seemed years ago, not months - both of which laid atop the hundreds of patches, family crests, and significant pieces of jewelry she could find; her knife on her hip where it always sat. 

She began to climb, and upon reaching halfway- she found an opening maybe the height of her hand and twice as deep; and save for a few spiders, it was empty. She felt as though she shouldn’t carry something she had no information on into the walls - not when she was pretty sure they would at least confiscate her things and question her on anything that they found, so she took the syringe with its case and stuffed it into the hole, shimmying loose a few rocks and placing them there as well before continuing on her way.

The sun was just below peeking over the horizon when she reached just shy of a couple of meters below the edge- close enough for her to hear any conversation, but far enough that no one just glancing below would be able to spot her.

“Man, the wife has been on my  _ ass _ lately, saying I go out drinking with you guys too much!” A masculine voice said with a laugh, and a few others joined in; about five or six by her count. She hung there, listening to them chatter for about five or ten minutes, until her arms began to tingle with the beginnings of tiredness and the sun was about to peek above the horizon.

The voice was coming from right above her, but away, his back to her, and a break in their conversation, a lull that lasted long enough to probably seem comfortable to them is when she took advantage, her legs muscles coiling like that of a predator, before extending with all of her might and shooting her upwards; the sun coming above the edge of their world as she did; leaving her unrecognizable as anything but a swift dark shadow behind the man who was relaxing with his comrades, even while on duty.

She pushed him over onto his face with her feet, the other men staring at her appearance in shock for a beat, the scene so silent save for the sound of the wind.

But soon they sprung into action, running at the girl and shouting at her to stop where she was; and though she dodged them easily enough, those who got close enough to touch her were dealt with as non-lethally as possible. 

The first man went at her with no weapon, reaching for her shoulders which she dodged easily enough, ducking down and slamming her shoulder underneath his ribs and knocking the breath out of his lungs before tossing him to the side.

The next tried to sweep under her legs, but she jumped and rolled behind him, using the same donkey-kick she had before on the bandits, except this time she hit the back of his skull with her heels, knocking the man unconscious as he landed flat on his face, the girl rolling to her feet from a flip and turning back to the advancing soldiers.

The combat “training” her mother had given her- which Morrigan before had dreaded- was now coming in handy, blocking their moves and incapacitating them with swift elbows to their necks and heads; but soon enough, after five or six men had been downed by her wild, unpredictable movements spurred by pure adrenaline.. she felt herself tiring. She could tell they were growing desperate, and angry, but what she didn’t recognize what was one soldier pulled from their hip shakily, pointing it at her moving form with unsure aim as the girl fought their comrades.

The first shot was startlingly loud, causing Morrigan to jump, and a soldier to get a punch into her face, fist connecting with soft flesh as her teeth cut her lower lip; the girl spitting out blood as she glanced at the concrete the object in the soldier’s hands had launched a projectile at, the surface now baring a hole with a small metal object poking out.

‘ _ What the fuck?’  _ Was all she thought, before spurring into action. she moved onto the next stage of her plan- grabbing the blond man she had initially pushed, their scuffle having brought them down the eastern, outer side of the wall.

But before she could continue on, another shot rang out, and a hot, searing pain tore through her upper thigh, a feral screech ripping through her throat- the first sound she had uttered causing them all to hesitate- hesitate long enough to allow this new surge of rage and adrenaline to spur the girl the last few meters to the very edge with the man. 

The other soldiers seemed to watch on in shock, proving Morrigan right, she felt, in how easily they must fall to Titans.

She drew her knife and the soldiers shouted in fear, but she did not draw blood- no, she sliced the ODM straps on his thighs and hips and slid the blade underneath his chest strap, the flat of it pressed between his pectorals as she then pushed him off the edge of the wall.

She heard shouts of horror, but they were cut short as they realized their comrade was not dead.

No, he stood nearly vertical, the toes of his boots gripping for dear life as the young woman teetered him off the edge of humanity.

There was a deathly silence once again, as the soldiers seemed to await her next move with bated breath.

She turned her eyes to them, staring them down as her chest heaved, the pain in her leg pulsing with every heartbeat before speaking to them in a low, questioning tone.

“Would any of you happen to know an Erwin Smith?”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


The Scout Commander was visiting the Training Corps that day, sitting in a meeting room with Hange Zoë, Levi Ackermann, Dot Pyxis, and Anka and Gustav, Dots’ escorts. They were discussing the progress the cadets had made thus far, the end of the year approaching- when they were interrupted by a breathless Garrison regiment officer slamming through the doors of the meeting room, eyes scanning for and finding their target. 

_ “Commander Erwin _ \- we have a situation in the Trost district that requires  _ your _ immediate attention.” The soldier panted out, and the commander stood immediately, walking over to the man and touching his shoulders firmly but not unkindly.

“What do you mean, soldier?” He asked, and they began to stutter out a response.

“There’s a- there’s a girl covered in blood. She scaled the walls from- from the  _ outside _ . There was a fight- men weren’t lost but….  _ incapacitated, _ and now she has Hannes’ hanging over the edge of the wall and- _ and  _ she says she won’t let him go safely unless you come and speak to her.” They say breathlessly, and the room goes deathly silent.

It was quiet for a moment or two as they all processed the soldiers’ words, looking at them as though they were all awaiting the punchline to a joke that was executed poorly; before they realized it...wasn’t coming.   
  


All thought of courtesy was thrown aside as Erwin sprinted out the door, the others following in hot pursuit. All aside from Dot Pyxis, who leisurely arose from his seat, a curious twinkle in his eyes.

_ Oh, he wondered what the day would bring. _

The Scout commander was visiting the Cadets’ training camp, and the group deftly dodged questions they couldn’t answer from the trainees, leaving on horseback and out at a dead sprint, Erwins’ mind racing just as fast as his horse.

He had absolutely zero clue as to what they all had in store, but he was relieved it just wasn't  _ Titans _ this time; although what it was was almost equally as worrying.

Upon reaching Trost, they switched from their horses to their ODM gear, reaching the large gaggle of troops gathered in a circle swiftly, the men slowly parting as the Scout Commander and their Garrison leader walked up, the motion taking a moment, slowly unblocking the scene in which they gawked.

A young woman- no- a  _ teen-  _ held Hannes’ ODM chest strap with a sharp, wide dagger, his toes barely balancing on the wall as he tried not to panic, arms windmilling as he struggled not to fall as the girl held him almost vertically. His eyes were terrified, and the girl seemed thoroughly…  _ terrifying. _

The situation took a few moments to process for the incoming group.

The girl was tall, close to Erwins’ own six foot two, and her thick, wavy ginger hair was slicked back to her head in what indeed appeared to be blood. Blood that stained her body wherever dirt and grime did not. She was bleeding freely from a gunshot wound on her upper thigh, though not enough to cause her to be in danger of bleeding out, the stream a trickle which told them the bullet was still inside. 

The one clear, shining thing that stood out were her eyes...Steely and piercing, they were a grey that bordered on silver. They reminded him of something, something he couldn’t quite remember. As did the ends of her hair, the color of which he hadn’t seen in almost two decades. That.  _ That _ he remembers; it’s reminiscent of someone he lost far too long ago to be this young woman here.

“Which one of you is Erwin Smith?” She asked cooly, and the Commander stepped forwards.

“That is me, I am Commander Erwin Smi-“ he was cut off by a snort of snarky laughter, and he paused in confusion as she looked him up and down, then back down at Hannes

“Treat your wife better.” She said with a lift of her lip, very closely resembling a snarl, before tossing him towards safety, his knees hitting the ground as he shook violently. ‘ _ Kinda… sad?’ _ The thought briefly flitted through her mind, before zoning every ounce of her attention onto Erwin and those who came with him.

The weight of her gaze was almost physical, as though she was staring straight through a person rather than at them; her focus setting the group on edge immediately as she eyed them up.

A bald man with a white mustache sent off the garrison regiment whose shift it was on that wall, carrying their K.O.’d teammates and being ordered to keep quiet about the current situation before turning his attention to the fur-clad teen. He stared at her in bemusement; like how her mother would stare at her while she drew on the walls with the charcoal sticks her mother taught her to write with as a child; like she was doing something she shouldn’t but it was too damn entertaining to stop her.   
  
Next to him was a raven-haired man with narrow eyes and a piercing glare that bore into her; an emotion she wouldn’t acknowledge as unease settling upon her shoulders.   
‘ _ He’d like to push me right off this wall, it seems.’  _ She pondered, before laying her eyes on the next person, someone with a messy brown ponytail and goggles that covered their eyes, though she could see them wide with curiosity. Their mouth was agape slightly as they gawked at her, and a slight smirk came to Morrigans’ lips, flashing her teeth for a moment, which caught their interest greatly.   
  
They were all considerably shorter than her frame, aside from Erwin. She didn’t realize her mother  _ and _ her father were of considerable height, nor that everyone else… didn’t seem to be. Her mother was at least the height Morrigan was now.

She removed her pack as she scanned them, and the short, raven-haired man drew his blades though  _ Commander  _ Erwin brought his hand up to stop him; and he halted immediately.   
  
‘ _ Like a dog.’ _ She thought bemusedly herself, exhaling slightly in something resembling a laugh, which drew a sharper glare from the petite man.

Morrigan brought out that old, leather-bound journal, and watched the blond mans’ face as she did so. She was hoping to see something- a flash of recognition, shame, shock,  _ anything. _ But instead she was given nothing. His face was a blank slate to her prying gaze.   
  


She opened it and out fell the letter her mother had addressed to him so many years ago, stepping forward and drawing herself to her full height, being able to stare him in the eye as she handed the papers to him. They were an arm’s width apart as he tore his eyes from hers and looked down, unfolding the pages and reading them. 

She watched so many emotions cross his face, confusion dominant for the first half, and realization, agony, and grief the latter as he read of what her mother-  _ his lover  _ was forced to go through.   
  
It wasn’t a short letter, and it took him a few moments to read. Moments in tense silence that Hanje used to observe the new anomaly closely, while her attention was solely kept by Erwin.   
  
Their skin was almost impossible to determine the true color- though it was likely some sort of shade of tan to white; her hair a dark burgundy stained with - yes indeed that  _ was _ blood - which also covered her from head to toe, red handprints displayed across the large amount of skin that she had uncovered; wearing nothing but what could only be described as a loincloth with shorts- and a vest that covered her from midriff to collarbones. Hanges’ gaze was purely from an analytical and scientific standpoint as she stared at the muscles defined along the young woman's legs and arms, muscles sinewy and strong. She had the body of a young warrior, though that was proven by those of which she had been able to take down in the scuffle, and the fact that despite a current, leaking bullet hole she was still standing tall.

  
  


“ _ Until the Gods bring us together again. _

_ Flora Allway _

_ 832” _

Erwin whispered the last lines and as he looked up, tears were lining his eyes; but what he saw in hers was not joy, not happiness nor excitement. He didn’t find what he was looking for. No, what he saw was fire. A burning rage that was unkempt and burning deep within what he now knew to be his daughters' soul.   
  
A forest fire that unbeknownst to him, had been lit a very long time ago. A fire that he had not only started, but was about to burn him.

  
**_SMACK!_ **

  
  


The sound resonated high up on the walls, the action being too swift and sudden for anyone to predict, and Erwins’ head snapped to the left, his cheek beginning to brighten in the shape of a handprint; no soldier able to react before the teen spoke; her voice projecting, yet almost quiet; a thin facade of calm wrapped around the rage she could feel bubbling under her skin at finally having him in front of her.   
  
He did not respond, his hand going back up to stop his friends from stepping in as the girl stepped forwards again; and as he straightened, she slapped him again, across the other cheek now as his head whipped, and before the other soldiers could step in she started to speak, taking a step back.

“ _ My name is Morrigan Allaway, and seventeen years ago you and your comrades left my mother, Flora Allaway, to die in the wood with no way to get back home. _ ” Her voice was a strong steady, low tone; though near a whisper, each word forced through clenched teeth, she knew they could hear her, even with the wind whipping about them as high up as they were; her eyes pricking from either the wind force or her emotions, she’d never tell.   
  
“ _ Commander  _ Erwin Smith? I hope you’re happy with your promotion, really. But please know that I  _ truly  _ couldn’t care less about your status. Because that is not why I arrived here today.” Her words were even, and all of the individual squad leaders’ eyes widened further; if that was even possible at this point.

She continued, never breaking his gaze as she raised her voice, ignoring the way it cracked in the beginning, giving away her true emotions; if just for a moment.

“ _ You left her in a forest full of titans and you let her have your fucking baby alone there!  _ **_Alone_ ** _!”  _ Her voice rose higher as she stepped closer and closer to Erwin again, until she was stabbing a pointed, sharp-nailed finger into his chest; and the group behind the commander shared a shocked look amongst themselves, Erwin never having mentioned any lovers, past, present, or really any that he saw having in the future. This information was new and startling.   
  
“She has to be lying-” Levi began, stepping forward before Dot raised his hand; silencing the man.   
  
“She’s not.” The man said, and Levi could see the recognition in the Garrison regiment commanders’’ eyes as he watched the woman.   
  
“She has his eyes and is just…. _ as much of a fight as her mother was _ .” The man said solemnly, and Levi felt his heart beat in his throat as he watched the scene unfold in shock.    
So this was Erwins’  _ daughter _ ?

“  _ And now I have no idea where the  _ **_hell_ ** _ she is!” _ _   
_ She was shouting now, her words laced with rage as the past year of hell she had endured finally caught up with her; the rage and pain and hate she’d kept at bay finally boiling over and escaping in any way it could find. It was a beat before she could regain her composure, her next words forced but even; a thin layer of ice over a simmering pot.

  
_ “ _ I came to tell you that.”   
  
“And that I wish you were the one that was  _ left there to fucking rot _ .” She spat the last words at him, and save for the wind around them it was deathly silent; the entire group staring at her in shock as she glared at the man she’d waited damn near 17 years to confront.   
  
She heard an inhalation of surprise when after a beat, the man dropped to his knees in front of her, taking her hands in his own which she nearly tore away in either shock or disgust- but she didn’t - and they all saw his shoulders begin to shake as he began to sob quietly, tears running down his face as he released the emotions he’d never been able to acknowledge before now.

“ _ I didn’t know, I didn’t know… I didn’t know… I’m so sorry.”  _ He whispered, his voice thick with emotion; and she could feel his tears soaking her hands. Tears of her own started to fall, leaving tracks through the grime on her face which stayed stoic, staring not at Erwin- but were closed, not wanting to acknowledge the emotional scene. Not knowing how to process it.

They sat there for a solid amount of time as Erwin begged for her forgiveness and she stood there unmoving, like a gruesome statue, a tribute to someone he thought long gone; the others staying silent out of respect, until Levi turned to the southeast, hand over his eyes to block the sun.

“We have company. Titans.” He said, and a shiver ran up Morrigans’ spine, out of both embarrassment at being seen in such a state, and shock. It was like she’d forgotten what world they lived in, just for a moment though. It was almost peaceful.

She tore her hands from Erwins’ grasp and the others were immediately on guard; save for the bald man and Erwin himself; who straightened as and turned towards where Levi had stated, seeing three to four, six to eight-meter titans advancing quickly. Morrigan shook herself off and wiped her eyes quickly while they focused upon the incoming threat.

Morrigan reached into her pack and grabbed the only strip of fur in there- her long, four foxtail length scarf, and wrapped it around her wound, covering it and typing it tightly with a hiss.

“Too fast for the cannons.” Erwin said irritably, and the black-haired man “tsk”ed, sighing. “Do you want me to-“

He was cut off by a flash of burgundy stained fur and skin as the teen-  _ Morrigan _ leapt past him and jumped off the wall backwards, shooting Levi a smirk and a two-finger salute which caused  _ all  _ of them to shout and follow her, staring past the edge and watching as she ran down the side of the wall. They could spot her horse down there as well; knickering in greeting as the girl landed beside her.   
  
“She doesn’t have ODM gear on.” Dot Pyxis pointed out the obvious, and they all watched in terror as a titan approached the girl-and fast.

The first- and tallest of the titans was about to reach the walls when the teen jumped from them, having jumped over her horse to retrieve her last remaining blades from her side before climbing back up, reaching a vantage point that she could use to leap from; disarming the first titan in such quick order that the Scouts above watched in stunned, shocked silence.   
  


They watched as the almost- seventeen-year-old took out the frustration she felt over crying in front of them the way she had promised to herself she wouldn’t; this display of raw rage and power her way of erasing the events that had just happened from her mind. Three of the four titans being not only incapacitated; but absolutely demolished. It was a few moments before Levi himself swung into action, felling the last one before it could reach the teen, and snagging her from the ground, and zipping both he and Morrigan to the top of the wall via his ODM gear; something she physically struggles against greatly.

_ “Do you have a deathwish _ ?” The raven-haired man shouted at her, pushing her off of him and getting in her face- well, as close as he could while being a whole head shorter than she.

“... _ Who are you?” _ She asks, blinking while staring into his eyes, her expression flat and emotionless. It was easy, though as she stared at his features longer, something bubbled up in her lower stomach that she was unable to name; and therefore ignored. 

“ _ Commander Corporal Levi Ackermann _ .” He said through his teeth, staring at her with intense disdain. Not for who she was, but for… how she was. She smelled disgusting, caked in mud and blood and Gods knew what else, she was quite literally his absolute nightmare woman, though he wasn’t going to even hint at that.

His tone surprised her, and she cocked a brow, getting closer to him, stepping forwards, and to the others’ shock- Levi stepped back. She took two more steps, advancing on him and leaning down to help him try and intimidate her.

  
“With all due respect, _of which there is none;_ I have spent the last _year_ wandering this godforsaken place. _By. My. Self._ I have spent _seventeen years_ waiting to find these _stupid_ ** _fucking_** _walls_ and the _cowards_ behind them. So don’t you _dare_ try and tell me what I _can_ or _cannot_ do.” She said, through her own gritted teeth, before brushing past him quite rudely.  
  
“And _never_ touch me without my permission again, _Commander Corporal.”_ her voice was soft, the threat so quiet only he could hear his title spoken mockingly before she raised her voice, staring her father down with a cool, steady gleam in her eye  
  
“Because I have _zero issues_ going back outside these walls and taking myself back to that forest with the titans if you people end up being the _real_ monsters. And from what I’ve seen of what lines the path from Wall Maria; _I might just take my chances_.”


	8. Chapter Seven: Hide-N-Seek and Coming Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big THANK YOU to everyone who's left a review, and especially to agirlreading, Elliee, and Lili070522, who have followed along for a while and it always brings a smile to my face to read the new comments :) <3 <3

**_848_ ** **_  
_** **_Trost District_ **

**_August 3rd_ ** **_  
_** **_Day of Arrival_ **

* * *

Morrigan threw her pack at their feet, the satchel hitting the ground with a considerable _thud_ as it knocked into Erwins’ boots.   
  
“Open it. Take a gander at a _sliver_ of what I had to walk through to find you people.” Her voice was icy, and Erwin crouched, glancing up at her as he lifted the top flap and pulled on the drawstring top; his compatriots standing over his shoulder and sharing in a cold, painful, prickling chill down their spines as it dawned on them what caused the weight of the pack.   
  
“There, in that pack, -and more in my saddlebags- is every piece of inscribed jewelry, every military patch, every family crest I found while walking through that desolate _wasteland_ that used to be _your territory.”_ Her voice was the one thick with emotion now; scanning the people in front of her as she saw guilt shadowing their features.   
  
“It’s everything I could find on those people you _fed to the titans._ ” She spits these words at them, laced in a venom so striking it caused even Pyxis’s mood to shift, a shadow finally covering his face as well as he came to terms with just quite what the teen had endured.   
  
“ _Good._ Feel _something_ . Because I have so much more to say and I was worried you wouldn’t _care._ ” She says, and Erwin looks up at her in shock, moving as though to interrupt her, but Levi was faster.   
  
“And what do you expect us to do with these?” He said dryly, and he actually did look as though he… _didn’t_ care.   
  
“I’d like to return these items to whomever still survives to remember the souls that used to inhabit those _corpses_ back there. Whoever was _lucky_ enough to be left behind.” The word _lucky_ was said ironically, and Erwin flinched, before nodding gravely.   
  
“Let’s take you somewhere to get…. _.cleaned_ and fixed up first- Hange, I believe your quarters would be best suited for her to clean up,” Levi stated, and the others agreed; though Morrigan was now feeling the slightest of buzzing under her skin as she thought of _actually entering the walls._ For real, this time.   
  
And as they were about to head out, they realized once again that Morrigan was not equipped with ODM gear; but before Erwin could request she climb on his back, she glanced down casually, to inside the walls, yet her eyes were scanning and calculating as she looked.   
  
“What of my horse?” She asked, still looking and he responded that they already had Garrison regiment officers lowering the transfer lift for the animal, at which she nodded.   
  
“And where are yours?” Her follow up question, and he pointed, all the way across Trost.   
  
She glanced down again, then to where he pointed, then down again, and Levi quickly knew what she was thinking.   
  
“ _Don’t-_ ” he started, but that was all she needed.   
  
“I’d like to see you _try_ and stop me.” She said flatly, with a deadpan glance before leaping, running down the walls until the height of the first rooftops, launching herself upon them and sprinting; the officers staring at her go off in stunned silence as she bounded across the gaps between the buildings along the main street with little difficulty.   
  
“What is she, a _fucking monkey_?” Levi scoffed, before leaping off in pursuit of the teen, followed by Dot and his escorts who left without a word amongst themselves.   
  
Erwin and Hange stayed back for a second, sharing a long glance.   
  
The edges of the blonds’ lips had begun to twitch with something he could only compare to pride when he saw Morrigan defeat the titans without the aid of the ODM gear, but now a small smile was clear on his face when he saw her quite clearly showing off, and Hanje punched his shoulder playfully. “You are in SO much shit.” Was all Hanje said, before following after the now out-of-sight teen.   
  
_‘Indeed, I am…’_ He thought to himself, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care all that much.   
  
He had a part of himself, _if only just a part_ , that he’d lost long ago back; and though his face still stung from her bite- and her bark was just as bad- it felt good.   
  
_She was home_. In one way or another. _  
  
_

  
The teen was shockingly fast, bounding from rooftop to rooftop while still checking her surroundings, shouting quick apologies to anyone she startled, sharp laughs escaping her as she hopped over and under clotheslines and shutters, jumping through windows and entire top floors of houses as she outran the officers.   
  
But she wasn’t just screwing around.   
  
She was observing.   
  
Seeing humanity for the first time and taking advantage of that fact. Just as she had gone on a wild goose chase searching for these walls; she might as well get their hearts pumping a bit too. An eye for an eye, you see.   
So she ducked around corners, climbing rooftops and shimmying through alleys, startling folk but giving them winks and quick lies of costumes and games amongst children which were accepted albeit hesitantly by the civilians when spoken by her soft, sweet-sounding alto.

She walked around what seemed to be a bustling farmers market, ducking between stalls, sneaking a fruit here and there, eyes widening at the different textures and flavors; and after a while when she thought she had sufficiently won this game of hide-and-seek; and when she had had her fill of the crowded streets and loud people…. She saw a group of tan jackets ahead of her and walking in her direction. She ducked out of the way, rolling underneath a currently unmanned stall and peering from behind it cautiously.  
  
Who she saw was not those who pursued her, but a different group. No wings or roses paired with the patches on their backs and if Morrigan remembered her mothers' words correctly, that meant they were cadets.   
  
Wait, that meant… _They were her age!_ _  
_ _  
_ She blasted her appearance just then, for she was forced to listen in on their conversation rather than try and join it, ducked behind a stall like some kind of psychopath.   
  
There were four of them, all with varying hair colors and styles; browsing the stalls and chatting amongst themselves and all very close as friends, though the two boys - one with light brown hair and the other dark - seemed to be bickering over something she couldn’t quite hear while a blond boy tried to calm them down. 

As they drew closer, Morrigan strained to listen in- her ears practically perked in interest.  
  


“Those were _definitely_ gunshots earlier, Eren!” The dusty-haired teen exclaimed, while the other- _Eren_ \- shook his head in disbelief, pushing the one speaking out of his personal space good-naturedly.   
  
“Yeah, sure. I’m sure it was just a cannon firing at a titan, Jean. Now come on, we have to run these errands for Sadies or he’ll have us running laps all night.”   
  
They were all distracted by a stall across the street, and Morrigan watched them with interest. The only girl had short, black hair that was cut into a choppy bob and she wore a red scarf, loose around her neck, at which Morrigan subconsciously touched her own fox tail scarf around her thigh nervously, blood not quite soaking through it.   
  
Suddenly, the girl looks over at Morrigans’ hiding spot, and the girl ducks down immediately, heart skipping as dark eyes found hers for just a moment, and she heard feet pounding towards her hiding spot quickly.   
  
But before the other teen could look fully into the stall, Morrigan had jumped up, attaching herself to the inside of the top of the large stall, nails digging into wood as she held on for dear life- both her hands and breath as she waited for the girl to lose interest and move on, and she did; but only after a few tense, long moments and the calling of her friends.

“Mikasa! Let’s go!” They shouted, and she began to turn away, eyes still scanning for movement.

“I thought I.. saw someone…” the girl said softly, before finally departing.  
  
Morrigan stayed up there for a few minutes more, the wound on her leg beginning a slow _drip, drip, drip_ of blood before she dropped to the ground, finally beginning to head to the horses when a bald head entered her view; though he was not chasing her. Dot was walking leisurely, with his arms behind his back ahead of her, and he did not try and grab her…. So she joined him, for she was walking in the same direction.   
  
He explained who he was, and she listened silently, offering him a strawberry which he took with a loud guffaw; eating it with a twinkle in his eye. He knew she had no money to buy this with, yet he said nothing.

He began to speak to her, and it was distinctly different than how the others did. He did not seem to be put on edge by her appearance, and his demeanor was as though they were old friends.  
  
He told her a general description of who Hange and Levi were in the grand scheme of things; explaining to her that Levi was harsh and stern with everyone and how Hange was… a bit of a wildcard. He explained how strong Levi was- and how he had earned the respect he had come to expect from people; and how he was going to be defensive when faced off with someone like her who didn’t seem to quite care about status; and the girl listened to the man quietly as they walked through the streets, people pointing at them and whispering.

“I am sorry for what you and your mother have gone through, Morrigan.” He said at last, and she felt a cold wave walk over her spine at the raw mentioning of it, but his voice sounded… genuine, the words not just leaving his mouth out of formality.  
  
“Do you know her?” She asks softly, and the man nods twice, his eyes darkening with sadness.   
  
“Her parents were friends of my own, I’m sorry to say that they’ve already passed, you won’t be able to meet them.”   
  
The news saddened the teen, but she was saved from having to respond by the horses coming into eyesight, and by the time they reached them, the rest of the group arrived within moments   
. She’d wasted enough time that she could see Calypso being walked down the road by a soldier- who seemed to be struggling quite a bit. The mare wasn’t a small one by any means, at least seventeen hands or so- and was struggling against her handler quite a bit. Morrigan rushed up- taking the lead from the man with a “thank you,” and the soft cooing of the mares’ name while he stared up at her in… either awe, or terror. She wasn’t very good with people yet so she.. couldn't quite tell.

“Have a nice hunt?” She crowed proudly to the incoming group, practically preening with pride, and Hange released hooting laughter, doubled over while Erwin simply looked concerned and perplexed, mounting his horse without a word. Levi seemed… absolutely furious, which made her preen harder. They all seemed mildly out of breath save for her and Dot, and they began their way back to the cadet camp- which was the closest military base to the Trost district; they had given Morrigan a long green cloak- though it only reached her mid-calf. She checked the inner collar with a smirk.   
  
‘ _Ackermann’_ It read, and she could barely control her laughter. Oh, this was definitely going to be returned _ruined._ The man was snobbish and quite obviously did not like her; though she could partially understand why- _her people skills left something to be desired-_ but what she couldn’t understand was that stupid piece of cloth around his neck. She thought it was ridiculous. She kind of loved _how_ ridiculous it was. She almost wanted one to prance about in herself. She wondered if you needed a specific military status to wear such an item.

In fact, she thinks she’ll ask him. Might as well make friendly conversation, right?

“Levi, do you have to be a specific rank for your neck thingy?” She asks, eyes wide with curiosity- a look she hadn’t given him before, paired with an absolutely idiotic question. A question he answered with a glare and a kick to his mount, trotting ahead of her and out of conversational distance.

She turned to Hange with the same look on her face, except now paired with confusion.

“What? It was an honest question!” She said, and Hange burst out laughing again, and Morrigan could see Erwins’ shoulders shaking ahead in silent laughter as well.

She certainly had _no_ idea why they were laughing, though somewhat glad they found her amusing to a degree.

They arrived at the Cadets training grounds and smuggled the girl in, Hange leading her to their quarters and shutting the door despite protests from the others regarding the safety of the action.

“The girl needs _privacy,_ men!” Hange shouted, and the door was slammed in their faces.

Morrigan was suddenly nervous, and Hange flapped their hands about suddenly, blushing.

“Oh! You’ve probably never used a modern bathroom!” They exclaimed, suddenly flustered themselves as they led her to a room off to the side of what appeared to be their bedroom.

Inside, it was stone floors and walls, but with strange metal pipes going from inside the walls to over a deep wooden tub with a hole in the center, a cork plug with a chain attached to the side. There was a low spout, to fill the tub, and a showerhead directly above that was connected to a chain that allowed it to be taken down and moved from its’ original position.

“These were only recently installed within the past five or so years, and invented a little before; so it’s probably something your mother couldn’t teach you about!” Hange explained, and Morrigan nodded slowly as she examined the things.

Hange showed her the soaps, and how to work the hot water function- something that shocked the girl, before exciting her greatly, modesty not one of her strong suits as she stood and immediately began to strip the disgusting fur clothing from her body- the material caked with muck and blood.

  
It was now, with her endless source of adrenaline finally seeming to deplete, she began to feel her wounds, her thigh burning once again as she unwound the foxtails from it, the fur peeling from her skin in a painful, disgusting way, and Hange looked away quickly, a flush coming to their cheeks as they mumbled about finding something in the girls’ size and collecting their medical kit.   
  
The wound was ugly, puckered, and Morrigan could see the slight shine of metal within it, the soldier having been quite a bit away with their shot, thankfully for her. But unluckily, now she had metal stuck in her leg and it hurt like a _bitch._

Before Morrigan stepped into the stream of almost scalding water- she noticed a sink with a round, reflective surface above it which caught her attention, hobbling over to it and wiping the steam away with a hand that left a crimson streak of fresh blood across her reflection; it was here she caught her first _real_ look at herself.

She looked… terrifying. Feral and horrific; with bloodshot eyes and a face streaked with brown and red- hair crusty and breath foul. She really was a wild child.

With this, she allowed the tub to fill with water halfway, sitting down upon a stool placed in IT and catching the towel Hange threw at her through a doorway and demanded she wrap around herself before they would reenter. The girl complied, and Hange dug around in the cabinets next to the sink, pulling out glass vials and washcloths, dumping a few of the vials into the water and swishing it around, an oily sheen sticking to the water and a soft, sweet scent lifting the air.

“What’s that?” Morrigan asked softly, and Hange smiled.

“Bath oils, and soaps to help get you clean. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good person under all that dirt.” Hange jokes and Morrigan smirked.

“I dunno... I might be a feral animal through and through, Hange.” She shot back teasingly, causing her new… ally to bark out a laugh that rang through the bathroom; Morrigan found that they enjoyed the sound. 

“Well, then we still might keep you, seeing as we keep Levi around despite his quills.” They quipped, and Morrigan released a snort, turning from Hange and reached over to switch the water source from the tub spout, allowing the water to start spraying over her suddenly sore and aching legs, her feet soaking in the steaming tub.  
  
“Oh… **_fuck_ ** the forest.” She groaned as she began to wash her legs with the steaming washcloth she dipped into the sudsy water, the bath soon turning a crimson-tinted brown as months of dirt, mud, and gore were washed from her skin, and Hange pointedly looked away as the girl did so, no emotion upon their face as they gave the girl privacy; handing over a bar of sweet-smelling soap and washcloth; which Morrigan took and began using to wash her body after some slight instruction.   
It smelled yummy- almost like she should eat it - and while Hange wasn’t looking she may or may not have licked it - the thing had little black dots in it which Hange told her were bits of vanilla bean. It was another thing she had never experienced before, and she _really_ liked it. Well, the smell. It tasted awful.

She had to have Hange help wash her back, and the squad leader accepted hesitantly, using a separate cloth to wash the girl’s shoulder blades and spine, wiping the grime and dirt away to reveal porcelain, freckle-splattered and scar covered skin, her shoulders having the highest concentration while it pittered off along her spine and lower back; the contrast from the color she was before shocking, to say the least.

It took three whole tubs and rinses, a whole one exclusively for her long, tangled hair which when finally clean reached the young woman's’ waist in dense, thick waves of dark strawberry blonde which she braided loosely down her back, tying the end with a thin strip of fur.

Her body was dotted and dashed with scars and bruises, no part of her body unadorned with patches of black and blue, her body hair fair and sparse which Hange remarked upon with a joking hint of jealousy; which Morrigan kind of didn’t understand but wasn’t going to question.  
  
She wore the towel as Hange sat her back down upon a stool in the next room, a black pack unrolled on their bed as they gestured for her to sit down; which she did hesitantly.   
  
“I have to remove the bullet from your leg, and stitch it shut.” They explained apologetically, and Morrigan nodded tersely, their joking tone in the bathroom not translating over to this situation.   
  
Hange gave Morrigan a belt to bite down on, and when the girl gave the go-ahead, they began the painful process of digging a bullet out of ones’ leg.   
  
As Hange had expected, they needn’t restrain Morrigan, for she bit down on the belt and laid back on the bed, eyes clenched and still as stone as Hange worked, eventually pulling out the metal and washing the area with alcohol, the girl releasing a pained shriek -muffled through the leather of the belt while Hange apologized in a panic.   
  
And after stitching up the hole and wrapping it in real bandages, Hange departed the room to give the girl some privacy to change

The clothing Hange brought for her was simple- black underwear, a pair of beige scout uniform pants, a loose black button-down shirt, and boots that also belonged to the uniform. Morrigan assumed there wasn’t much to offer in way of variety at a training camp.

The teen donned the attire, the shirt being a size or so too big and being tucked in, Morrigan buttoned it past below her collarbones and Hange taught her how to roll the sleeves up past her elbows. Pulling the boots _on_ was little trouble, though _walking_ in them might be. Though the heel was little more than an inch; the girl had spent quite a long time barefoot and it was going to take some adjusting.

She and Hange exited the room after about two and a half hours or so, and the latter led the girl down a few halls and through to a large room with a tall table, a table at which sat Erwin and the others, including a couple of people more.

Erwin stood at the head of the table, discussing with his fellow military commanders, informing those uninvolved of what had happened and what they were to do. With him now were Levi, Pyxis and his escorts, Keith Sadies, and Commander-In-Chief Darius Zackly who had arrived just moments before from the Military HQ up in Orvud. 

He had already explained the situation to the fullest extent he could while awaiting his… _daughters’_ return. The thought was scary to him- how he could go this long with a daughter yet unknowing…. And now he had to explain, well... His daughter.

“My relationship with Flora began in the Cadet Corps….” He began, and the other men nodded, urging him to continue.

“We were always quiet about it; not appreciating how others would pry about anyone’s relationships as if they were their own. It was something that went on from our teenhood into our early twenties - something that I truly did see lasting forever. Until we were separated and I lost an entire half of my soul.” 

His words were quiet, and Hange and Morrigan hesitated outside the door, the girl placing a hand on Hanges’ wrist and stopping them, opting to listen where they were, the door concealing them as it was only cracked.

“It was the sixteenth excursion outside the walls- we were supposed to just be out for a small time, but it went off the rails almost immediately, a few kilometers outside the walls we were surrounded by abnormals- they were picking us off like pigs to the slaughter- we were on the run for days, until we eventually lost them in the forest; or so we had thought.” His voice was beginning to strain, and Morrigans’ nails began to dig into her palms painfully.

“They came from the trees- we had managed to take down the climbers but when we were done we were forced off by a handful of 13 meters- and by the time we were safe enough to do a headcount, it was too late. We were too far gone to even try and think of going back for anyone, no matter how much I begged.”  
  
“We had made love the night before. Knowing that one of us could die the next day, but pretending we were invincible.”

Erwin's head was in his hands, hair gripped between his fingers as his voice broke upon the last sentence, and the meeting room was silent as the group listened sadly.

“I didn’t know she was pregnant- _how- how could I have known?”_ He shouted into his arms, and there were a few tense beats of silence before he continued, voice slightly muffled.

“And now she’s gone.”

No one at the table knowing what to say, Morrigan finally released Hange, and they entered. She came in quietly,so as not to startle anyone though she saw some expressions change, and though her father did not look up from where his head lay in his hands she continued towards him. Her steps were near silent as she walked to his shoulder, cocking her head slightly before speaking.  
  
“Get your head out of your hands.” She whispers, though her voice was stern; and he finally looks up, staring at her face as if for the first time; as did the rest of the room in shock.

Gone was the feral animal that had been a wildfire and terror to the Garrison regiment and others, and in its place stood a tall, regal young woman; with high cheekbones and piercing eyes, her lips full with a delicate yet determined set to her jaw that overall… created a quite striking face for a teen, pieces of hair framing her face, pulled out from her braid by Hange to give a more flattering appearance, though the quickly purpling bruise upon her cheek and lip was anything but.

“That’s my mother you’re talking about. I said I didn’t know where she was, not that she was dead. Now have some _dignity_.” She said cooly, and his face hardened. She could tell no one had talked to him like this in a long time, if ever; yet she couldn’t find it within herself to care.

After a few tense beats, the Commander-In-Chief stood, offering his hand to her. “Miss Allaway, thank you for joining us.” He stated, his hand at which the girl gave a blank stare, blinking at it slowly in confusion. It took them all a beat before Levi scoffed.

“Grab it and shake.” He said patronizingly, and she complied, gripping the man's hand firmly and shaking it up and down once, twice, three times… four….fi—

“Not that long you idiot!” Levi snapped, and she released the commander’s hand, before turning her gaze onto Levi, her head turning oh-so-slowly as she looked down at him from across the table with a curious expression and wide, doe-like eyes.  
  
“ _Who are you?”  
_ _  
_ She said innocently, with the same doe-eyed look as before, and the Commander-In-Chief believed that time for introductions- going through names and ranks- the whole time of which Levi glared daggers into Morrigan's head, which turned, actually paying attention to the Commanders’ words though Levi could see a smile ghosting around the girls’ lips.   
  
_She was mocking him!_ He'd _thought_ she was on the horses, but now he was _sure_ of it!   
  


And he was right, she was _now_. Now that she knew how funny it was. Maybe Morrigan was going to learn a lot not just about others, but about herself as well while here.


	9. Chapter Eight: Coming to an Agreement

**_Chapter Eight: Coming to an Agreement_ **

* * *

  
After the introductions, they all took their seats with Morrigan choosing to sit on her heels in her given chair, arms draped over her knees while a certain clean freak scoffed, glaring at her while reclined in his own seat, arms crossed with an ankle over his knee,

“Miss Allaway, we have two reputable sources who can confirm your story about your mother. Erwin, who seems to be your father, and Dot Pyxis who has a close relationship with your grandparents, and who knew your mother throughout her childhood and cadet training.” Commander-In -Chief Zackly began, and her intense stare made even him squirm slightly in his own skin.

“And for these events that happened I can only express my severe condolences.” The white-haired man said, and her eyes scanned his face scrutinizingly for she couldn’t help but sense there was a “ _but_ …” coming.

“ _But_ … your arrival and the means of which you chose to announce have caused somewhat of… a ruckus if you will. You see, there is a lot of stir among the Garrison regiment about the men you injured-“ he began, and she stifled the urge to roll her eyes at him.

“I didn’t kill them, did I?” She asked, and they all blinked at her.

“Well, no, but-“

“I _ could _ have killed them.” She said point-blank, and they gaped at her in shock.

It was then she told them of the bandits, of the way the men had spoken about her,  _ touched her _ , about how they cornered her like a frightened rabbit. 

She told them the entire truth, with no sugar-coating or deception and they all looked at her with solemn looks upon their faces. Even Levi seemed perturbed, avoiding her eyes.   
  
“I sentenced those men to death to save my own life to stand here before you today.

I did what I had to do on that tower, and I did what I had to do on that wall to get the results that I needed.” She continued, and the men looked at each other warily, yet not dissuaded.   
  
“I came to you all with nothing other than my true, genuine self. I could have lied to you all and deceived my way through the walls to find my father…. But I didn’t. Because I don’t think my mother would have liked that, and  _ aside _ from the fact that that woman is the only thing in our world that I fear, that’s also not the kind of person she raised. A feral and reckless one, yes. But not a deceitful scoundrel.”    
  
The group of military officials all shared glances, pondering what the girl had said before she continued.

“If you are debating whether or not I should be allowed to stay behind the walls, I cannot give you any reason other than I think I could be a very good asset, and it would be best if I were an ally to the people of the walls.” She said calmly, her voice diplomatic.

“As opposed to what?” Levi shot back, and his glare was as searching as hers was, but she refused to let it crawl under her skin, meeting his gaze with a challenging one of her own, though her voice raised none..

“I think you’ve seen what I can do to the _ titans  _ without the use of your ridiculous looking ODM gear. I imagine that if you were to try and  _ kill me _ or try and lock me up somewhere….. ,I wouldn’t go down without a fight. And a show to go with. Who was faster today, Levi? You with your ODM gear or the teenager with a  _ bullet l _ odged in her leg?” Her voice was still light and diplomatic, but the words settled on the men’s shoulders with a cold chill. A chill that fell upon all but Levi, who was quietly seething with rage, the urge to scream at the girl almost unbearable- though what would he say?

She was right, thinking back on how she had tackled those titans down, and how she had disappeared through the Trost district like a blur. it was  _ almost _ like she was sent specifically  _ for _ them.(... **_lol._ ** )    
  
While she had been getting cleaned and stitched up, they had debriefed and written their reports on what had happened at the wall while informing the CIC, and even he had to agree that she was a tool they needed greatly; despite the drama she caused and would likely continue to bring. But was the cost worth the reward?

“We will have a trial in two month’s time.” The Commander-in-Chief states, and they all turn to Zackly in shock.

“During that time you will join the Cadet Corps as a late recruit. We will make a decision based upon whether or not you are able to make a lasting, good impression upon the people.” He states, and Morrigan cannot help but begrudgingly admit that the plan is sound, and smart. Though some of the others disagreed, Erwin most heavily, standing from his seat and nearly shouting that she was his daughter, and her mother was a citizen therefore her place within the walls was her right; while Levi proclaimed that she was far too feral and disrespectful to be allowed into the Cadet corps, and Hange stated that the time before trial was too short.

Morrigan disagreed with their protests, though. Her spot  _ shouldn’t  _ be guaranteed, and yeah she had a bit of a mouth on her… but she knew when to shut up. She spent her whole life working for her place in the world, she had no qualms continuing to do so.

She stands and they all go silent as she does, her eyes making contact with Darius’s, slate grey irises contemplating; examining the options set before her with a scrutinizing and judgemental stare, before her tall frame leans in, over the table and extending an arm, all watching as Zackly takes it, shaking on a deal that would shape of Morrigans’ life for the foreseeable future.   
  
“Alright old man, I’ll play your game.” She responds, and Erwin gapes at her in horror, watching as the teen shook on a deal he felt she wasn’t taking seriously enough.   
“It’s not a game, Morrigan! It’s your life!” He exclaims, and she shifts her gaze back to her father, and he wondered when it would stop being unsettling, staring into his own eyes like this.   
  
“Like you said. It’s  _ my _ life. The decision is  _ mine _ . I didn’t just come here looking for  _ you _ , Smith. I came here looking for  _ people. _ And I’ll be damned if I don’t accept even a little time to appreciate what has been withheld from me for so long.”   
  
Her voice and words were matter-of-fact, and she flashed them all a wry smirk.   
  
“And I’ve never been one to turn down a challenge.”   
  


And with that, they agreed that she would start three weeks from then, the two month timer starting from her first day at the corps, allowing her time to recover and gain some weight, for her body was thin in a way that worried Erwin greatly. He remembered her mother having a strong, full physique, not these almost bony wrists and taut musculature. Though he thought about how strong she would be at full health, if she could take out three mid-sized titans with nothing but sheer rage and willpower in her current state.   
  
The men got up as if to conclude the meeting, and the teen released a sound of protest, but Hange laid a hand upon their shoulder, causing her to jump.   
  
“You need to rest, you’ll have more answers once that’s happened.” They explained, and Morrigan begrudgingly agreed, dragging her feet to the door.

Even Levi felt some level of concern as they all followed her and Hange out, practically able to see the teen fraying at the edges as events of past and present slowly began to catch up with her.

Her eyes were getting low, and the bags beneath them were an almost bruised purple color, her skin sallow as she likely hadn’t eaten much aside from jerky and grass for gods knew how long.

They couldn’t take her to the mess hall, so Hange led her to an empty room across the hall from theirs, with the almost exact same layout save for the bathroom having a shower, not a bath.

The rooms were small, just barely enough space for a desk with a chair, double bed, and a bedside table. On the desk sat a kerosene lamp, a pad and paper, and a pitcher and glass of water which she drank from readily, savoring the fact that she no longer had to ration it day by day any longer, at least for now.

Hange soon came back with bread, some hard cheeses, some fruits and vegetables, and was about to leave when Morrigan requested they stay. The section leader watched as Morrigan sat upon the bed for the first time, and the pure amazement that crossed the young woman’s face as she felt it.

“Is  _ this _ what a mattress feels like? My mother said that they weren’t  _ that _ comfortable, but when you’ve slept on piles of leaves your entire life…” she said in wonder, falling back and listening to Hange’s chuckle.

“I agree with your mother, but I see where you’re coming from.” They stated, plucking a grape off the tray and tossing it at the reclining teen, who blinked at the fruit hitting her forehead, before reaching over and popping the errant fruit into her mouth, eyes widening at the snap of the skin and rush of flavor in her mouth.

“Oh, these are  _ yummy! _ ” She exclaims, and for the first time Hange gets a glimpse of who this teen could have been if she hadn’t started out on the wrong side of the walls. A first glimpse of the innocence it was clear the girl kept wrapped in thorn bushes to protect. 

And as soon as it was there, it was gone in a blink, Morrigan returning back to her snarky, steely-stared self as she asked if Levi appreciated his muck-covered cloak back.

“I think he said something about burning it.” Hange replied, snacking on a few grapes of their own as well as they sat in the desk chair, straddling it backwards.

They got to know each other a bit, Hange learning that Morrigan knew how to play the lyre and whistle like half the native bird population, and Morrigan learned that Hange studied titans- something that Morrigan was quite interested in. She readily offered to help, and as they were planning on times where she could, she felt her eyes getting lower and lower, her lids fighting against sleep as she tried to maintain the conversation, until Hange stopped talking and instead stared at the now-sleeping teen with a soft, admiring smile. 

Gone was the furrowed brow and biting wit, and the serious shadow that seemed to follow the girl around like a plague. Now, here, her face was smooth, save for small nicks across her cheeks and a long scar across her nose, which did nothing to hide the innocence that sleep allowed to show through. It was now that she finally looked like the child she was supposed to be, and Hange felt something pang in their stomach that felt something akin to grief. It was horrible this poor girl had her childhood stripped from her, and now the military was trying to find a way to take it away all over again.

Hange picked up the now essentially empty tray save for cheese rinds and grape stems, setting it on the table and jostling the girl slightly, waking her a bit.

“I’m gonna take your boots off, kid.” They say, and the girl mumbles an incoherent response, letting the actions take place with little struggle or help which causes Hange to laugh. The squad leader covers the teen up, lighting the kerosene lamp as the sun begins to set; and heading for the door. As they move to close it on their way out, a soft voice stops them.

“Hange?” The girl says, and they pop their head back in, brows raised.

“Yeah?” 

“...thank you.” It sounds almost… timid, the blankets pulled up to the girls’ nose, eyes barely peeking out from above.

“For what?” They asked in confusion, and Morrigan could almost imagine a question mark over their head.

“..... for not being a monster.”

The words shocked Hanje, their jaw dropping slightly, before a smile came to their lips as they looked at the girl with a softness to their eyes.

“Any time, Morrigan.”

The door shut softly, and Morrigan allowed herself to fully relax for the first time in…. well, it might actually have been the first time. A lot of firsts, she was going to experience she realized.

But she was too tired to think about firsts, and she quickly passed over into that deep, black unconsciousness that comes when one is finally able to relax after a lifetime of holding their breath.


	10. AUTHORS NOTE

_**February 10, 2021:** _

Hello, posting this to inform everyone that my laptop has bit the dust after 10 years of service :( being in a pandemic, I can't afford a new one until tax returns start coming in.

Combined with the fact that my state has now reopened restaurants for indoor seating, I am now working more hours.

Seeing as I update this work both to here and fanfiction. Net, I am unfortunately going to have to announce that the upload times for this story are going to be a bit longer from now on, seeing as i have to work on my phone.

I hope you understand, thank you.

-R.R

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave reviews! Criticisms welcome! Unless it's about me being a grown ass adult writing fanfic pls no, i'll cry, thanks. love you xx


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